Monday, September 2, 2013

Tosin Kayode: How to have the best marriage in town!

bestmarriage

Really, how does it work? Who makes it work? A good man? A good woman? Mr Right? Hmmmmm!
How does Marriage work and who makes it work? The rate at which marriages are collapsing in our society today is alarming and frightening by the days! So many have turned into single mothers and so many have turned to single fathers. When asked what went wrong, the common line has been "irreconcilable differences". Such a catastrophe!
Marriage is one beautiful institution that was set up by God to help man and woman overcome temptations, build a strong team, win, and raise future leaders but what we see in our society today is quite the reverse! So discouraging! I feel so sad anytime I hear of marriage failures and after hearing about the cause, discover that it is more than what we can physically see and work on!
Marital success in my discovery lies not on the man or the woman more (though each of the parties have important part to play) but on the foundation! So many marriages were not meant to be in d first place. Marriage is not an institution to be based on selfish intentions or interest! It involves sacrifice. The success of marriage is so important that it affects every other aspects of one's life. My pastor would say that, " Anyone who has failed in marriage has failed in all and might find it difficult to make heaven"
Seriously, homes are breaking up every day, marriages of long years break up, short years also break away, I think about this and I realize marriage is a battle you have to keep winning everyday!
You don't marry the woman or man and relax that you already have him; you keep fighting to keep him because either he is a good person or not, is not what will keep your marriage forever! So many other agents are fighting to have him or her, so one needs to keep guards!
I still keep asking myself, do I have to marry a poor man to have a good marriage? (At least, ladies won't disturb him and I'll have peace) and then I hear about the marriage of poor men folding up (so many other factors are involved). Gush! Ok, maybe wealthy guys are not so bad after all (I might still find some that will appreciate me and will spoil me with his riches) but then I realized, the world is really a big battlefront!
Tall or short, rich or poor, handsome or ugly, I have realized that all that matters Is God's perception of the union. Any marriage that is ever laid on any foundation other than the direction of God is prone to failure! So many ladies and guys are still waiting for the right person, even when they have refused to make themselves the right ones! Though I am yet to have the marriage experience but from stories and case studies I can say that the success of any marriage takes the great efforts of the two parties involved! Prayer is key!

So many times, I used to wish I could read the future ahead and avoid making mistakes but it's impossible! Here the wisdom of God comes into play! The wisdom of God surpasses all human understanding! Even when we think we know all about a person and base our decisions on what we have seen him do, life has a way of proving us wrong about them! Change is the only constant thing in life! Confusion is near, frustration results and then the end comes!
Above all teachings and principles of marriage that I have learnt and heard I believe two things are paramount, the foundation and the pillar! The foundation and pillar has to be God!
We cannot in our own selves fathom all the deep secrets and knowledge of this world, and as such we cannot say because we are principled, our marriages will stand! Only God can make it work!
Having studied some marriages that have failed and those that have stood the test of time, I have come to the fullness of the importance of prayer and holding on to God!

I am not a preacher and don’t want to cut across as one but truth be told, there is no replacement for prayer! Be the best cook in the world, be the sexiest woman in the world, be the finest and richest man in the world, be the wisest person in the world, acquire all the degrees, infact be the most quiet and reserved person in the world, without your prayer connection to God about your marriage always, anything can happen!
This is not to say all the basic teachings we have been taught about marriage are not important, just want to emphasize that everything without prayer and a connection to God is tantamount to naught!
Sometimes, it can be hard waiting on God or going with his plans for us because we do not understand or know what he is trying to achieve with us, but we can learn to trust Him!
Two wrongs don't make a right anywhere and definitely not in marriage, I know women may have a great responsibility in making marriage work, but what happens when the man is unyielding?

The two have to really become one to make it work; no assigning of faults! Marriage is not about the age, attributes, or possessions, it is more about sacrifice!
With the help of God, I pray that we shall have peaceful homes and enjoy our marriages! And to those having challenges may God restore calmness and Joy!



Tosin Kayode tweets from @tospet16

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