"Dear Protege, My Heart is Heavy" by Steve Harris

#DearProtege ... my heart is heavy and I'd like to get a few things off my mind.
Dear Protege,
You might not like what I'm about to tell you, but you know me, I'm gonna keep it real. I know it's not easy. The economy seems to be going in one direction and people younger than you seem to be hammering; I know you look at mentors and role models like Alibaba, Leke Alder, Fela Durotoye and want their stuff, but hold on a second. Don't be in a hurry to drive their cars and earn their pay checks. Can you pay the price of their success? I know what you're thinking, ‘it's easy for you to say, Steve. I've heard your gist too’.
Dear Protege, I know you've seen the successes of GenerationNOW like Bankole Williams, Jimi Tewe, Dr. Tylor, Paul Foh, can you pay their price? Do you know that Bankole Williams left his well paying job at GTbank and took a 50% pay cut to pursue his dreams? Can u imagine how hard it was for him when he wasn't able to buy stuff he was previously used to? Try doing that for a year. Ask Bankole Williams how many times his laptop went off when NEPA struck and he didn't have 15k to buy a new battery. Ask him how many times he wanted to go back to paid employment because he couldn't pay his bills; he has paid his dues. Now you see Bankole Williams rock ‘Ouch’ or David Wej clothing and travel on holidays and you're beefing him? You've got it wrong.
I could tell you about my friend, Paul Foh; he's one crazy guy who inspires me daily. Paul Foh keeps it real – a man from a humble background with an insatiable thirst for knowledge. I met Paul Foh seven years ago when he came to visit Fela Durotoye in PH. He came with a huge 'Ghana must go' bag of books. Three years ago, Paul Foh took a risk and hopped into his SUV and relocated his wife and two sons from PH to Lagos not because he wanted to hammer, but because he had value that would be better expressed in Lagos. They slept on the floor in a friend’s apartment for days. Thank God for the good women in our lives who believe even if they don't understand us. Vision is personal to the visionary. I know for a fact that Paul Foh reads at least two books a week and is up daily from 3am to 6pm learning and honing his craft. So when you see Paul Foh in Dubai or SA speaking or selling thousands of his books in one cheque, don't knock his hustle.
I can't even begin to talk about Jimi Tewe who was a Senior Manager in a bank in his early 30's and left all; he already owned his house and decided that the call was too great. So he left the job and sold off the 5 Bedroom Duplex; his wife thought he was nuts. But thank God for good wives, she supported him even though she didn't understand him.
Dear Protege, there are more I could mention like Remi Dairo, Dr. Tylor, Abiola Champ who have paid prices greater than you know; don't be fooled, it's not all glitz and glam. In the words of Jude Abaga (MI) #mesefIbehumanbeing. Dear Protege, don't be in a hurry to 'blow' or 'hammer'. There is a price and it's heavy! While it seems there's a cabal; Bankole Williams, Jimi Tewe, Iheanyi Ejiogu, Dr Tylor, etc., don't be fooled, we are bonded by sacrifice. Admission into that 'cabal' is the price of sacrifice. The rubber's hit the road, the shit hit the fan, but we kept walking. Are you ready to serve like Elisha or turn around to take my gold like Gehazi? Don't be fooled, I know which one you are. 'Mentoring' is not by mouth, 'serving' is not by asking. What value do you bring to the table?
Ask Maureen Iyasele who left a lucrative career as an Engineer in Mobil to answer the call to help graduates get jobs. How much will graduates pay Maureen Iyasele compared to Mobil? Yet she self funded ‘the jobmag’; she inspires me! Even I volunteered with Fela Durotoye for 5 months without pay coming from Iyana Ipaja to VGC. I know you'll tell me you have nothing to offer. Yes you do. Your mentors have PROBLEMS or DESIRES. Can you solve them? Put yourself in our shoes. Everywhere we go, people ask to work with us or 'serve' us. Why should I choose you? What's your USP? And if you don't know what a USP is, see why I can't mentor you? You don't speak my language; your mentor speaks a language. Leke Alder speaks branding, Fela Durotoye speaks nation building, Jimi Tewe speaks Career; if all you speak is skelewu or shoki, they can't help u. Don't say you wanna 'serve' and then ask me to pay your "TFare". Sacrifice will cost you something!
Dear Protege, sometimes I've had it up to 'here' with you. And I'm gonna tell you. How you invade my privacy, look me up with TrueCaller, flash me and say “Sup” on WhatsApp, get my BBpin without permission. Alibaba and Leke Alder are role models to me, while I may have access to them; I'll never reach out without their permission. It is the prerogative of the MENTOR to reach out to the protege and not the other way round. Respect BOUNDARIES. Having my CONTACT doesn’t give u ACCESS. I have contact with Alibaba and Leke Alder; ACCESS is their right to give or deny. Even when you have ACCESS, don't take it for granted. I've known Fela Durotoye for 9 years. He's not 'my guy' even though we're very close. I respect his authority over me. Don't come with a chip on your shoulder. Don't presume you know more than I do. Respectfully suggest, don't instruct me. I probably shouldn't 'send' you. I've been told to let you make your mistakes, so you can crash and burn, but I can't. I know you see me as your competition. I've got a red dot on my chest with a bullet with my name on it.
Dear Protege, so while you 'serve' me and plan to betray me, don't forget you reap WHAT you sow, not WHERE you sow! So, all I've said, it's been outta love. I'm not here to stifle you. This job is harder than it looks! I can't tell you the number of jobs I lost because I didn't give a bribe and I didn't have food at home. When your time comes, will you fail the test? When the ladies are winking at you, HARD AS IT IS, will you be MAN ENOUGH to say NO, and be called a SLACKER ? I'm not saying that I'm perfect, cause me sef I be human being o. ‘Cause’ when the blood flows 'down', your brain shuts down. Stay accountable. I have men I listen to and can keep me straight and narrow and won't soothe my ego. You need such friends; you need your THREE! Even Jesus had Peter, James and John. I have Jimi Tewe, Iheanyi Ejiogu and Bankole Williams.
Dear Protege, I haven't always wanted to do the right thing. I haven't always done the right things either, WHO HAS? But I'm trying. I've got ONE QUESTION for God when I meet Him in person. Why does doing BAD feel so damn GOOD? So before you judge me, look in the mirror. Do you know how many times I got offered N3M to do a N5M job that Fela Durotoye sent me to bid for that I turned down? That means the CLIENT offered to PAY ME N3M to do it myself instead of paying my company 6M and my salary was 300k 63. What would you do if you were me, knowing your company would NEVER KNOW? Honestly, no B.S.
Dear Protege, I've poured my heart out. So David, even though you know the throne has been promised to you, can you resist the urge to sit on the throne before your time? 'cause killing the KING is an act of treason. Don't take the throne. It must be GIVEN to you. Serve your time faithfully. And perhaps one day, you can be a better King than I ever could be.
Dear Protege, God bless you and Good night!
The above are tweets from the handle of Steve HARRIS, Nigeria’s foremost Life Strategist and motivational speaker. On Twitter, he is known to say what’s on everybody’s mind but they have refused to share. To read the tweets, go to his handle, @IamSteveHARRIS or click the hashtag #DearProtege. If you were impacted, do leave a comment below.

Corruption is shameless in Nigeria - Godwin Uwuba'men

I sit down and weep for my nation, not because we are helpless but because we are shameless especially when it comes to financial and economic corruption.

Trust me , every country battles corruption, as long as there are humans who have needs corruption is a potential for any "ethnos".

We are not better than our so called leaders, they are just a sample of US. Many of them vowed never to be corrupt and didn't know the extent of the potential seed already planted in them by our shameless system over the years until the opportunity to be financially corrupt showed up.

I have the potential to be corrupt, you have the potentials to be too. However the reason we may not be at this point may be that the opportunity has not presented it self to you. This is my advice, to be corrupt free, 2 basic things must be addressed deliberately and personally before the opportunity presents itself.

1. The issue of character which includes values like integrity, loyalty, faithfulness, love, honesty, justice etc

2. Competence which includes creativity, purpose discovery,hard work, thinking, the Entrepreneurial spirit, meditation, value creation etc

To deal with corruption at a national level is to deal with it at a personal level. If the 2 aforementioned is bankrupt in your life I can say to you without any iota of doubt YOU ARE CORRUPT, note my words I did not say you will be corrupt, you are corrupt ALREADY, you are just waiting for the opportunity to present itself.

The second scenario is, if you are deficient of either of them, for me that's the real problem. It is quite difficult to have a person who is void of both competence and character at the same time in a high degree, how ever for a country like ours we have them a lot because over time we have rewarded mediocrity so there's is no incentive for excellence.

This is my gist: if you celebrate character at the expense of competence as most good people ( church and mosque) do, at the point of choice making you may succumb to external pressure from those you love, wife and children, who may be going through a lot of pain and deprivation. Many good people have dropped their " goodness" at the door post of corruption because they couldn't stand the pains of neglect, lack and poverty in their life's and those of whom they love,when Corruption opportunity showed up.
Also for those who place very high premium on competence than character, their fight will be against the Almighty Greed, so even if they have enough to abound, out of lack of character they can go to all length to accrue more than its necessary per time when Corruption knocks at their door.

Dear friend lets start today to develop our Character and Competence so we can have the capacity to say NO to corruption when the opportunity shows up. Trust me on this, no matter how determined, no matter how you say you hate corruption, no matter how much you preach or speak against it, if you don't develop these 2 C's now, you will join the millions of Shameless Corrupt people in this country. I rest my case for now.

PGU
DyscoverYou int'l

Follow the writer on Twitter @godwinu

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Stop blaming your president for your problem, he really can't help thesituation! - Godwin Uwubamen

2019, 2023 is also an election year in Nigeria, what's the fuss about 2015? What does it take to Rule or Lead a nation WELL, EFFICIENTLY, EFFECTIVELY, PRODUCTIVELY? What it takes to lead a family of four well. What ever you do in your little space today really will not be different from what you will do tomorrow in the Grand Arena. The only difference will be in the amount of resources available to you then.

A nation deserve the kind of leader it gets, because the leader was trained and nurtured by the SYSTEM of the nation. Stop blaming your president for your problem, he really can't help the situation or himself, its about programming, he is just playing out the script that we ALL have written out for him, he is just "fortunate" or "unfortunate" to be the ONE there to ACT out our collective script, even if YOU reading this piece, find your self as our representative LEADER, I can bet you that you will most likely play it out the same way we have written it. Our problem is not knowing what to do but the courage to DO what we know. I like the passion of the NEW party, just watching and observing their dealings in the last couple of weeks am tempted to be a part of them, ha! Ha!! I can't be fooled again, trust me they are not and don't have the capacity to be better than the incumbent and as I said earlier its not their fault, their intention may be right but I know that their execution will be wrong, why?? They are still part of us, I mean the SYSTEM.

So you may ask me who then is qualified to lead us? Personally am not sure of the answer but one thing I know is, if the over 160 million of us choose to change what we VALUE, anyone of us eligible can Lead this nation PRODUCTIVELY, trust me its not rocket science. Some of the values you and I must start to introduce into our Nations System so as to change our OUTPUT in the future are:

1. Value for Human live, ( no country can be productive beyond its value for its citizens welfare and well being)
2. The true concept of wealth ( emphasis should be more on knowledge and not natural resources),
3. Obeying the Rule of Law ( where no one is above the Law, living by agreed policies and constitution; no sacred cows),
4. Value for hard work ( performing given duties with dignity and excellence),
5. Value for Education( this modern world is built on knowledge )
6. Delayed gratification ( we should stop eating our future today)
7. Strategic Thinking ( people who use their Heads will forever be masters to people who use their Hands)
Just to mention a few.

Now let me talk to the youths, am sure you will agree with me that the system that produced our current leaders; 20, 30years ago, though not perfect was better than this current system that's producing you for our leadership in 10, 20 years time. If nothing changes fundamentally now in the way our thinking and values are heading presently, am not a prophet, but I am sure of what 2030 will look like (disaster). You know what?....
Lets begin to train ourselves through personal , character, and competence development.
Lets promote more and more constructive and empowering discuss on different communication mediums, this will help a mind revolution that will lead to true Freedom.
Lets challenge ourselves to higher standards of work ethics and mental productivity.
Lets pursue as much as possible moral excellence.
And finally lets find a strategic (long term)plan to position that young person(s) who will represent these new NIGERIAN Value, we want to see. Can I be honest with you, Forget 2015, maybe 2019 too but I have a feeling that 2023 will begin a NEW ERA in Nigeria.

My thought, i don't know how it will happen or when but I believe the people am referring to now are between ( 21 and 35 years), you guys are far more intelligent, strategic and thoughtful with the added advantage of your Dreams, visions , technology and I.T savvy, you stand a better chance in making this nation what we all crave for.
Think! Think!! Think!!!, there is hope for us in Nigeria as we agree today to take our destiny into our own hands. I will share more in the future. ?#?love4myNATION?.
Pastor Godwin Uwubamen is the president of DYSCOVERYOU INT'L. He is also the senior pastor of His Treasure House Abuja. He has been a voice of change to this generation for over a decade. The author of several books and he's married to Oluwaseun. Follow: @

An open letter to Nigeria's new generation - Funmi Iyanda

Funmi Iyanda

[caption id="attachment_727" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Funmi Iyanda[/caption]

The thing about age is, it is catching. It’s like a hysterical jester lying in wait for the fool.

I want to tell you about Mrs Okoro. Before l turned nine, school was a vaguely irritating distraction from the pursuit of happiness in play and adventure. Every school day, I’d wear my red checked dress and burgundy beret uniform and passively submit to school. l was not a rebellious child. I was a bored child who daydreamed through classes until lunch when the school served asaro and chicken with bananas and ground nuts as snacks. That was until l got to Mrs Okoro’s class.



Mrs Okoro made letters become words, words which became stories, stories which became my life. I loved her dearly, perhaps it was transference as l’d recently lost my mother but at nine, l started going to school because she was there. One day walking out the gates after school, l saw Mrs Okoro getting into a bus ahead of me so l ran across the road to get into the same bus. I didn’t bother checking for traffic. The next thing l remember is thinking heaven looked rather like Akoka road. I had been hit by a car and was staring up at the concerned faces of Mrs Okoro and others. The driver was distraught; he was a student at Unilag and in the moment before pain cut through my adrenalin, l remember being happy l had been hit by a grand university student not some infernal danfo bus driver.

He took me to the university health centre where the nurses gave me a large cone of ice cream to comfort me before treating me and putting me in the big university bus home. My heart was swollen with pride as the shiny big bus drove down our dirt street in Bariga. Not a dime was exchanged, no one called my father at work, there were no mobile phones and we had no phone at home. There was no need; the system took care of me.  It was Nigeria 1980.

Recently on my way out of Nigeria, the Murtala Mohammed airport was thrown into chaos, people were sweating and swearing, passengers stranded as all electronic equipment had stopped working.  The place stank because there was no water to clean the toilets.  I watched the white airline crew walk by with barely contained derision as they gingerly sidestepped the mess. The problem wasn’t that there was no electricity at the airport, that’s normal; it was that someone had not supplied the diesel to run one of the generators.

I sat in a corner, observing people; those who fascinated me most were the band of men, mid thirties to late forties, Nigeria’s emerging business and political elite. I recognised them by their Louis Vuitton luggage, logo jacket and velvet slippers, disguising their social anxiety with an unabated desire for the pointless. Seemingly oblivious to their environment, they strutted about backslapping and rolling their r’s, being cocky, rude and dismissive to everyone.



What stuck me most about these preening peacocks though, was their total lack of shame at the state of things. They are the band of new-Africa-rising, proudly Nigerian jingoists, living in a glass bubble as far removed from the Nigerian reality as you can get. For them patriotism is not a recognition of failure and a determination to redress it, but a slogan to be worn, tweeted or liked.

Later on, crammed into a rather unsanitary first class lounge, I watched them posturing for furtive young female travelling companions, clearly under instructions to pretend not to know them. The odd thing is that these are no corn farmers made good from my native Ida ogun, these lounge dwellers are very well educated and uncommonly well travelled Nigerians. A defective fraction of the immense amount of brainpower and knowledge Nigeria has produced. They help prevent their peers fulfilling their potential and a pool of brilliant thinkers, explorers, scientists, innovators and artists is lost, squandered by a nation that strangulates its best.



I often hear foreigners perplexedly comment that Nigerians are some of the best educated, urbane and confident black people they have ever met, so how come the country is so, well, Shit?

One reason staring them in the face is that, the best-educated, urbane and confident elite they delight in meeting has failed us.

The question therefore should be, what is it about the country that makes it impossible for its bright, hard working, resource rich population to organise itself into collective prosperity? What is it that turns some of Nigeria’s brightest technocrats into hand wringing, head-scratching incompetents when they achieve power?



You see, Nigeria was founded as an economic proposition to collect and remit resources to the empire, with the British government entrenching a feudal, centralized, western-education-phobic elite in the North and a westernized, Judeo-Christian, anglicised elite in the south.

On departure, these elites with their distinct cultural differences but common goal of avarice became the new imperialists. Imbued with a servitude underpinned by self-loathing and a voracious appetite to mimic their former bosses, they confused westernisation for civilisation and like all counterfeiters concentrated on the surface of things. Thus, to their thinking, the more resources of the land they could coral, the more trappings of the west they could possess and the more civilised they could become.



That unwelcome process continues today.



For this elite, the rest of their kith and kin fill them with unease and even disgust and they condemn them to poverty and a passive consumption of other people’s science, innovations, religions, art and technology as though such achievements are beyond us. They also condemn their own children to future poverty not just material but emotional and cultural. Notably the stolen wealth hardly outlives the first generation.



Each time the elite is replaced, it is by a new generation similarly afflicted and culturally insecure with the same desire to fraudulently acquire a large share of the common wealth themselves.



This is self-loathing in action. It is a terminal disease.



Our common humanity and civilisation should be guaranteed by carefully protected, ever evolving structures, systems and processes, which reflect all our highest values and aspirations. Kajola ni Yoruba nwi.



The system designed by the British was to serve the big empire. It was not designed to work for us and never will.



We all know this and every so often the government of the day will propose a state sponsored jamboree to endlessly chew the cud of that vexatious issue of reform, only to artfully spit it out when the people are sufficiently distracted by the increasingly circus-like, mad-max dystopia we are living through.



The dysfunction at Nigeria’s heart remains because it serves the interests of whichever big man muscles or cheats his way into power. (Note; I said man, the system will never allow for a woman, at least not a woman who won’t do the needful.)

But what about the people? What about the youth?

The subtext of Obasanjo’s recent letter to Jonathan is what they used to call two fighting boy and boy in the streets of Shomolu. The people can sense this it is not their fight; they are as disconnected from the elite as the elite are from them.

They know their place is to submit and dream. They want to be the next big cat. They have no real distaste for those who have stolen their future; often they just want to replace them. The grudging admiration seeping through their envy fuelled whimpers of protest reveals fragile egos easily stroked by association with those who have raped them, then thrown them a bit of Vaseline and warm towels.

They desire to be the ones at the airport with the designer bags and unplaceable accent. The one’s who are gearing up to follow the path of those before them. To flaunt luxuries but live in situations so far removed from the vision of life those luxuries where designed for. When Karl Lagerfeld designs each Chanel bag he cannot possibly envisage it may end up in a place where the carrier can be dragged out of a car and raped in daylight with witnesses and no repercussions. Yes that happened. The baubles do not make us civilised, a country built on a political structure that allows the creativity, innovation, and talent of all to thrive does.



Nigeria in 1980 was by no means a perfect place but would my counterpart in Shomolu today have a Mrs Okoro or such access to public health care?



Let us sound a warning to our “betters,” as they push and pull the country one way and another in their hustle; it is untenable, there will be a snapping, one, which no one can predict.

So what shall we do? What will the young intellectual elite of today do differently?

A youth cultural revolution of ideology and values perhaps? Jettison the hypocrisy, the pseudo religious, anti women, anti children, anti poor patriarchy. Turn away from the bigotry, the megalomania, and the cultural bravado. Free yourselves and your future. Speak the truth to power and each other, not just on twitter, to face. Refuse to participate in the racket, the hustle, and the lie. Be better than that which is on offer.



Thatcher, a deeply polarising figure, but outstanding leader once said;



“Watch your thoughts for they become words.
Watch your words for they become actions.
Watch your actions for they become habits.
Watch your habits for they become your character.
And watch your character for it becomes your destiny.

What we think, we become. ”



Start now before you become the company CEO, the minister, the commissioner, the senator. Lead from within and without.

Abraham Lincoln once said of citizens desiring change; make me. Make your elders and leaders take you seriously. Help the few good men and women in power by showing there is a generation who can and will stand with them. Insist on the structural and constitutional changes that which will free our collective creativity, innovation, science, ideas and culture.

Civilisation is neither westernisation nor exclusive to other climes. It is building a society on values and institutions designed to protect not the strongest but the weakest as we are only as strong, as honourable, as respected and valued as the sum of our weakest parts.

Now what? My job is to tell stories with context, sometimes l don’t know the end. Write your own ending. Shape history.



Text of a keynote delivered by Funmi Iyanda at ThinkOyo 30under30 awards 21/12/13

Chuba Ezekwesili: Dealing with the 'Photocopy Mentality' in Nigeria

By Chuba Ezekwesili



Several weeks ago, I stared at my screen, mouth agape as I read my most recent article….on a stranger’s blog. However, this copy of my work had no attributions. Nothing. Even personal life references had been scrubbed off. My article had been blatantly plagiarized. For me, the act signified more than just stealing; it reflected a disturbing trend in today’s society.

We speak often on how the youthfulness of the Nigerian population proliferates creativity, innovation and ingenuity. Theoretically true, but an incisive and brutal look at the creation of ideas and works in Nigeria shows an unfortunate tendency towards the habit of copying. Duplication of fashion, business ideas and literary work has become rampant.  Once one person gets a whiff that some new form of business is raking in cash, be rest assured that it will have numerous other copies in no time. Once Shawarma became the ‘selling snack’, every single food vendor began to offer it. Give it enough time and suya sellers on the corners might start offering Shawarma. Business centers were once the rage because people heard the money was in it. ‘Gardens’ where beer and fish can be purchased have become the popular business in Abuja. Other numerous gossip blogs sprang up once Linda Ikeji’s blog reached financial success. Clearly, the proclivity to copy seems predominant today.

Now there’s actually nothing wrong with this. It’s normal to expect that a profit-making market with free entry and exit will experience flooding of competition. However, the problem with these scenarios is the prevalence of what I like to refer to as the ‘photocopy mentality’. I’d like to assume the term’s self-explanatory nature shields it from further explanation, so I’ll jump straight to its issue. The problem with photocopies is that they’re never better than the original; at worse, inferior, and at best, the same. For example, a photocopy of one’s Driver’s License will never pass for the original. Likewise, simply copying someone else’s idea does little to improve the idea. It changes nothing, innovates nothing and creates nothing. It simply saturates the market with another version of itself. And since mediocrity cannot compete with mediocrity, the status quo remains the same. Such occurrence defeats one of the purposes of competition; which is to engender improvement. This is where it’s important that we change the way we see the act of copying.

The act of copying a work should be a process rather than the product itself. TEDx Speaker, Steven Johnson emphasizes that copying is “not about creation but about creating. The process is more important than the final product. A process in which copying can play an important part, because it allows us to stand on the shoulders of giants and to create something beyond your own capacities.” Copying has been integral to the emergence of a significant number of innovations as it cuts down the process of improvement as well as the cost of R&D (Research and Development). As a process, it takes existing creations and improves them. For example, all the products that made Steve Jobs famous already existed before he unveiled his iteration of them. All it took was the ability to copy and improve on the ideas.

There’s a much larger lesson to this. In order for African countries to truly catch up with developed economies, they have to do more than copy ideas. They have to innovate and find ways to optimize the potential of these ideas in Africa. It stops being enough that Africa attempts to reach convergence through the replication of production methods, technologies and institutions of developed countries. Africa needs to find ‘African’ insights to these issues using existing ideas, methods and technologies. Even China recognizes this given that their  “ultimate goal is the ability to innovate independently. Chinese firms have realized that they cannot just purchase core technologies; they must create them on their own” says Mark Purdy of Harvard Business Review. Likewise, in a nation like Nigeria saturated with jobless graduates, differentiating oneself becomes imperative. Having a degree from a university only keeps one at the common denominator level of being a photocopy and well…no one notices photocopies.

Hence, it is imperative that one breaks out of the rote-learning mentality bequeathed to the general populace by an obdurately outdated education system. Start by thinking of ways to improve already established structures though observing, critiquing and brainstorming. As highlighted above, photocopies are never improvements, they’re merely copies. Simply being a photocopy takes one nowhere, individually or collectively as a society. Instead, taking an idea and coming up with some thing different – maybe even better – drives society forward. Now if only my plagiarizer realized this and sat down to write something worth reading, we’d all be the better for it…or at least, I would.



Source: NaijaNomics



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What make relationships strong and what matters more than SEX by Alibaba

Alibaba



‘This morning, I posted a pm on my BB asking what makes a relationship strong? I also offered some hints… Is it money? Communication? Sex? Trust? Understanding? Respect? Kids? Religion? Attention? Support?


Amazingly, over 45 people jumped on the hints. Some even agree that all of them make a relationship strong and last longer. Some even said once you have say, 7 of those things covered it will definitely be strong.

THEY WERE ALLLLLLLLLLL SOOOOOOO WRONG!!!!

That’s why we are battling every day. We put the ABUNNA before the horse.

The thinks that weaken a relationship are more important. They look like nothing, but as they gradually eat into the vitals of the relationship, the foundation begin to wobble and eventually cave in. That’s what leads to the irreconcilable differences you often hear about.

It is easy to quickly lump these micro killers under a general factor, but trust me, dealing with them individually works better than just saying “The problem we have, She does not respect me”. Not respecting is the final destination. There were many steps to that point.

When you fail to provide in the house, when you talk down on, no show of gratitude, making others look down on, not involving the other in decision making… Finally it builds up to the person short changed losing all forms of respect. So it’s not LACK OF RESPECT. it’s what led to it.

I have seen a MUSLIM husband and a Christian wife live till death put them apart. So it’s not religion. You can practice different religion but still be married longer than even Pastors. It’s not about prayer is the key… Do you treat your husband like the religion you practice say you should? Do you relate with him like a friend? Do you forgive? Do you hold on to issues that have been apologized for and bring same up like its fresh wounds?

Communication. What you say. When you say it. How you say it. Which should not be said. Where you say it. Who you say it to…. May be the reason that the foundation is shaky. You can’t use the tone you use to talk to your driver, plumber, brother, househelp… And think you have communicated. If you say things that you ought not to say at all, and you now even say it in public, TI RE TI BA e NIYEN. You want something but instead of saying you want it, you are saying, “Even Bayo of all people takes his wife to the movies!” You had better renew your DSTV… Because you are going no where!

Some women say men DONT give them attention. And, according to them, it’s very important in a relationship. Some men even say they DONT get the attention they used to get like when they got married. Selfish bastard. She is raising your kids, running the home, looking good for you and being a good employee to a company, if she is employed. So, bear in mind that the attention may not be like you used to get. And understanding matters. For women who crave attention. A MAN WHO IS AT YOUR BECK AND CALL 24/7 is a liability. Layabiliteeeee! So if you call or he doesn’t call as often as he used to, it’s not lack of attention. It’s hustle. Same goes for the woman. Like my wife, she gets home sometimes 8 or 9pm… There are people who get home 10 or 11 sef.

Finance, I agree without a doubt make a relationship stronger. But it doesn’t if that is used as the yardstick for judging the strength of love. If it becomes a yardstick, then the person dropping more rules the relationship and if there is someone with a deeper pocket, oleku!

Simple gratitude, sometimes matters more than sex. I mean it. That someone calls you out of the blues to say thanks for that and this… This and that, can make a relationship stronger. Some people do not know how to say thanks. And on top of that, they will be giving people the impression that the person they are with, is not doing anything. You had better put your mouth where your money is. Because LOBATAN will be a word you will get used to when the generosity is withdrawn. And you will fade into oblivion. Say thank you. Say I appreciate what you are doing. Sometimes I tell my wife, thanks for supporting me oooo. Nothing spoil. Thanks for accepting me the way I am OOO. Thanks for making me a better guy. Be grateful. It’s the two of you DAMN!

Very often you hear, I don’t trust him again. It is not an airtime credit that you just loaded. It is that message that you get that says, your call credit has been exhausted PLS load an all in one card. Thank you. That is, all the different things that you have been doing (calls made) have eaten up all your credit (trust). You’re either going to reload or use a business centre. Trust is rechargeable. Some may give you credit window… What you do with it restores or further erodes what was left.

Friends can strengthen your relationship or burn it up. Some friends will tell you you are stupid to tolerate your bobo having a girlfriend, yet they are still with their own bobo that is sleeping with their HOUSEHELP and neighbour. Or even have fathered a child her BESTO is carrying. But will inflame your own affair. It’s not all advice you get that fit your relationship. But some friends will make your relationship stronger through visits, encouragement, settling small quarrels and telling you your relationship is their model.

I would have written about the role of the family, but trust me, you all know that well enough. Or has your African Movie Magic been suspended?

Next one JARE.

Looking good. This can not be over emphasized. You can do all the other things, but trust me, some people will only go to certain places with you if you look presentable. This has nothing to do with love. Are your clothes well put together? Do you smell well? A good smell, that announces your arrival can delay your departure, I read sometime back. Even if you don’t break a bank, you can look good and groomed, with far less than you think. Start with baffling, sponging, shaving, trimming, and the likes…

You are not a microwave. Stop getting hot for no reason. Even for any reason, control yourself. If you look around hot tempered babes are tolerated. Not craved. That your sharp mouth is for what? Are you a Gillette brand ambassador? Cut it out!

Me, that is writing this much, do you know that, the amount of time I spend on line has become an issue with my madam at the top. I had to reduce it. No need to sacrifice my relationship to please some people. Same people will be so delighted to read that my wife and I are quarreling over one message some babe sent me online. So don’t send messages, call me when she is not around… HEHEHEHE

Ok I think I have let the comedian part of me kick in.

As I was saying, beyond the core issues, a lot of micro and macro things that may seem like nothing but are significant tug at our relationships. Let’s pay attention…

Have a nice day
I dey rush so no time to proofread. GBAGAUN if you like just DONT miss the message.
Okay?”



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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Funke Egbemode: Ladies, these are the signs that your man is done withyou

Funke Egbemode



When a man is done with a relationship, he’s done. He may not look like he’s even lacing up his boots, yet he might have left you weeks ago. So, a girl needs to know how to read the signs and what to do. Unlike women who are sentimental about such stuff calling it quits with a relationship that is going nowhere, men are logical beings.

If they want out, they head for the door. Some try to be nice about it, not that I think there’s a nice way to dump a girl, but a man who is through with a woman is through. Trying to stop him most of the time is a waste of time and energy. When a man finds himself in a tight corner, the first person he looks out for is his great self. He may not set out to hurt but that is what happens when someone gets dumped. The dumper is more hurt than the ‘dumpee’, if you get my meaning. I guess that is why the stench from all dump sites is always so terrible. Dumping is simply bad business.

So, how do you know if you are being dumped or if you are the ‘dumpee’ even this minute? First, let us all agree that not all relationships end up in ‘I do’. Many actually end up in ‘I don’t’. If a man no longer wants to ‘do’, you will do well, my sister, to learn to let him go. Not that you can stop him if he’s eyeing the door anyway but it is easier on the ‘dumpee’ if she holds a meeting with her heart and head and they resolve not to cause a scene over the dumping.

Here’s one way to know you are no longer what you used to be to your man. He will stop asking for elaborate explanations about your movements. If he used to check on you three times between the time you left the office and the time you got home and all he asks these days is ‘how was your day?’and  then he nicely changes the subject when you attempt to give him the full gist, let the romance light in your head move from green to amber. If you tell him you have a dinner to attend after work and all he says is okay without asking who is hosting the dinner, the venue and what you are wearing, you are losing grip. As far as he’s concerned, you can go jump in the acid lake.

He will also stop giving you elaborate explanations about his life and movements too. If you see a girl in his car and stop him, if he is a nice dumper, he will stop, say hello and tell you he is in a hurry. Note: he did not introduce the girl or tell the girl who you are. Count yourself lucky he stopped and keep the amber light on in your head. You are no longer as important as you used to be. Or did you actually believe the I’m-in-a-hurry story?

If you have already met a few members of his family, put your thinking cap on if you sense unease in the air when next you visit. Watch out for the smiles that do not reach their eyes, the pitying looks and the almost audible sigh of relief when you tell them you are leaving. Poor folks, they like you but the dumper has introduced another girl to them and told them he was done with you.

When a man begins to make himself unavailable and unapproachable, he’s telling the woman who thinks she is still in his life the deal is off. If you were spending the weekends together and now there is always something keeping him busy every weekend, don’t ignore the alarm ringing behind your left ear. You want to go to  his apartment and see things for yourself? Great idea, you will most likely find what you are looking for, your replacement.

If the man who, once upon a time, could not keep his hands and eyes off you behind every closed door (office, car and kitchen doors inclusive) suddenly looks at you in lingerie, adjusts his glasses and returns to his laptop or iPad, you are on your way to the dumpsite, most likely. I’m assuming you had a great sex life, of course. Now, he sees you in the shower and he’s still walking normal, not adjusting his zipper or joining you, ah? There is cause for alarm and concern, believe me.

You used to call each other like 10 times a day and now it has dwindled to one call a day or fizzled out altogether, you are a ‘dumpee’ waiting for certification. That man has moved on, I suggest you do too. Yes, in my capacity as the Chairman, National Assembly Joint Committee on Intimate Affairs.



Source: Sun Newspapers



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YOU LAZY (INTELLECTUAL) AFRICAN SCUM! - AFRICANS NEED TO READ THISAGAIN!

Field Ruwe



So I got this in my email this morning…

They call the Third World the lazy man’s purview; the sluggishly slothful and languorous prefecture. In this realm people are sleepy, dreamy, torpid, lethargic, and therefore indigent—totally penniless, needy, destitute, poverty-stricken, disfavored, and impoverished. In this demesne, as they call it, there are hardly any discoveries, inventions, and innovations. Africa is the trailblazer. Some still call it “the dark continent” for the light that flickers under the tunnel is not that of hope, but an approaching train. And because countless keep waiting in the way of the train, millions die and many more remain decapitated by the day.

“It’s amazing how you all sit there and watch yourselves die,” the man next to me said. “Get up and do something about it.”

Brawny, fully bald-headed, with intense, steely eyes, he was as cold as they come. When I first discovered I was going to spend my New Year’s Eve next to him on a non-stop JetBlue flight from Los Angeles to Boston I was angst-ridden. I associate marble-shaven Caucasians with iconoclastic skin-heads, most of who are racist.

“My name is Walter,” he extended his hand as soon as I settled in my seat.

I told him mine with a precautious smile.

“Where are you from?” he asked.

“Zambia.”

“Zambia!” he exclaimed, “Kaunda’s country.”

“Yes,” I said, “Now Sata’s.”

“But of course,” he responded. “You just elected King Cobra as your president.”

My face lit up at the mention of Sata’s moniker. Walter smiled, and in those cold eyes I saw an amenable fellow, one of those American highbrows who shuttle between Africa and the U.S.

“I spent three years in Zambia in the 1980s,” he continued. “I wined and dined with Luke Mwananshiku, Willa Mungomba, Dr. Siteke Mwale, and many other highly intelligent Zambians.” He lowered his voice. “I was part of the IMF group that came to rip you guys off.” He smirked. “Your government put me in a million dollar mansion overlooking a shanty called Kalingalinga. From my patio I saw it all—the rich and the poor, the ailing, the dead, and the healthy.”

“Are you still with the IMF?” I asked.

“I have since moved to yet another group with similar intentions. In the next few months my colleagues and I will be in Lusaka to hypnotize the cobra. I work for the broker that has acquired a chunk of your debt. Your government owes not the World Bank, but us millions of dollars. We’ll be in Lusaka to offer your president a couple of millions and fly back with a check twenty times greater.”

“No, you won’t,” I said. “King Cobra is incorruptible. He is …”

He was laughing. “Says who? Give me an African president, just one, who has not fallen for the carrot and stick.”

Quett Masire’s name popped up.

“Oh, him, well, we never got to him because he turned down the IMF and the World Bank. It was perhaps the smartest thing for him to do.”

At midnight we were airborne. The captain wished us a happy 2012 and urged us to watch the fireworks across Los Angeles.

“Isn’t that beautiful,” Walter said looking down.

From my middle seat, I took a glance and nodded admirably.

“That’s white man’s country,” he said. “We came here on Mayflower and turned Indian land into a paradise and now the most powerful nation on earth. We discovered the bulb, and built this aircraft to fly us to pleasure resorts like Lake Zambia.”

I grinned. “There is no Lake Zambia.”

He curled his lips into a smug smile. “That’s what we call your country. You guys are as stagnant as the water in the lake. We come in with our large boats and fish your minerals and your wildlife and leave morsels—crumbs. That’s your staple food, crumbs. That corn-meal you eat, that’s crumbs, the small Tilapia fish you call Kapenta is crumbs. We the Bwanas (whites) take the cat fish. I am the Bwana and you are the Muntu. I get what I want and you get what you deserve, crumbs. That’s what lazy people get—Zambians, Africans, the entire Third World.”

The smile vanished from my face.

“I see you are getting pissed off,” Walter said and lowered his voice. “You are thinking this Bwana is a racist. That’s how most Zambians respond when I tell them the truth. They go ballistic. Okay. Let’s for a moment put our skin pigmentations, this black and white crap, aside. Tell me, my friend, what is the difference between you and me?”

“There’s no difference.”

“Absolutely none,” he exclaimed. “Scientists in the Human Genome Project have proved that. It took them thirteen years to determine the complete sequence of the three billion DNA subunits. After they

were all done it was clear that 99.9% nucleotide bases were exactly the same in you and me. We are the same people. All white, Asian, Latino, and black people on this aircraft are the same.”

I gladly nodded.

“And yet I feel superior,” he smiled fatalistically. “Every white person on this plane feels superior to a black person. The white guy who picks up garbage, the homeless white trash on drugs, feels superior to you no matter his status or education. I can pick up a nincompoop from the New York streets, clean him up, and take him to Lusaka and you all be crowding around him chanting muzungu, muzungu and yet he’s a riffraff. Tell me why my angry friend.”

For a moment I was wordless.

“Please don’t blame it on slavery like the African Americans do, or colonialism, or some psychological impact or some kind of stigmatization. And don’t give me the brainwash poppycock. Give me a better answer.”

I was thinking.

He continued. “Excuse what I am about to say. Please do not take offense.”

I felt a slap of blood rush to my head and prepared for the worst.

“You my friend flying with me and all your kind are lazy,” he said. “When you rest your head on the pillow you don’t dream big. You and other so-called African intellectuals are damn lazy, each one of you. It is you, and not those poor starving people, who is the reason Africa is in such a deplorable state.”

“That’s not a nice thing to say,” I protested.

He was implacable. “Oh yes it is and I will say it again, you are lazy. Poor and uneducated Africans are the most hardworking people on earth. I saw them in the Lusaka markets and on the street selling merchandise. I saw them in villages toiling away. I saw women on Kafue Road crushing stones for sell and I wept. I said to myself where are the Zambian intellectuals? Are the Zambian engineers so imperceptive they cannot invent a simple stone crusher, or a simple water filter to purify well water for those poor villagers? Are you telling me that after thirty-seven years of independence your university school of engineering has not produced a scientist or an engineer who can make simple small machines for mass use? What is the school there for?”

I held my breath.

“Do you know where I found your intellectuals? They were in bars quaffing. They were at the Lusaka Golf Club, Lusaka Central Club, Lusaka Playhouse, and Lusaka Flying Club. I saw with my own eyes a bunch of alcoholic graduates. Zambian intellectuals work from eight to five and spend the evening drinking. We don’t. We reserve the evening for brainstorming.”

He looked me in the eye.

“And you flying to Boston and all of you Zambians in the Diaspora are just as lazy and apathetic to your country. You don’t care about your country and yet your very own parents, brothers and sisters are in Mtendere, Chawama, and in villages, all of them living in squalor. Many have died or are dying of neglect by you. They are dying of AIDS because you cannot come up with your own cure. You are here calling yourselves graduates, researchers and scientists and are fast at articulating your credentials once asked—oh, I have a PhD in this and that—PhD my foot!”

I was deflated.

“Wake up you all!” he exclaimed, attracting the attention of nearby passengers. “You should be busy lifting ideas, formulae, recipes, and diagrams from American manufacturing factories and sending them to your own factories. All those research findings and dissertation papers you compile should be your country’s treasure. Why do you think the Asians are a force to reckon with? They stole our ideas and turned them into their own. Look at Japan, China, India, just look at them.”

He paused. “The Bwana has spoken,” he said and grinned. “As long as you are dependent on my plane, I shall feel superior and you my friend shall remain inferior, how about that? The Chinese, Japanese, Indians, even Latinos are a notch better. You Africans are at the bottom of the totem pole.”

He tempered his voice. “Get over this white skin syndrome and begin to feel confident. Become innovative and make your own stuff for god’s sake.”

At 8 a.m. the plane touched down at Boston’s Logan International Airport. Walter reached for my hand.

“I know I was too strong, but I don’t give it a damn. I have been to Zambia and have seen too much poverty.” He pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled something. “Here, read this. It was written by a friend.”

He had written only the title: “Lords of Poverty.”

Thunderstruck, I had a sinking feeling. I watched Walter walk through the airport doors to a waiting car. He had left a huge dust devil twirling in my mind, stirring up sad memories of home. I could see Zambia’s literati—the cognoscente, intelligentsia, academics, highbrows, and scholars in the places he had mentioned guzzling and talking irrelevancies. I remembered some who have since passed—how they got the highest grades in mathematics and the sciences and attained the highest education on the planet. They had been to Harvard, Oxford, Yale, Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), only to leave us with not a single invention or discovery. I knew some by name and drunk with them at the Lusaka Playhouse and Central Sports.

Walter is right. It is true that since independence we have failed to nurture creativity and collective orientations. We as a nation lack a workhorse mentality and behave like 13 million civil servants dependent on a government pay cheque. We believe that development is generated 8-to-5 behind a desk wearing a tie with our degrees hanging on the wall. Such a working environment does not offer the opportunity for fellowship, the excitement of competition, and the spectacle of innovative rituals.

But the intelligentsia is not solely, or even mainly, to blame. The larger failure is due to political circumstances over which they have had little control. The past governments failed to create an environment of possibility that fosters camaraderie, rewards innovative ideas and encourages resilience. KK, Chiluba, Mwanawasa, and Banda embraced orthodox ideas and therefore failed to offer many opportunities for drawing outside the line.

I believe King Cobra’s reset has been cast in the same faculties as those of his predecessors. If today I told him that we can build our own car, he would throw me out.

“Naupena? Fuma apa.” (Are you mad? Get out of here)

Knowing well that King Cobra will not embody innovation at Walter’s level let’s begin to look for a technologically active-positive leader who can succeed him after a term or two. That way we can make our own stone crushers, water filters, water pumps, razor blades, and harvesters. Let’s dream big and make tractors, cars, and planes, or, like Walter said, forever remain inferior.

A fundamental transformation of our country from what is essentially non-innovative to a strategic superior African country requires a bold risk-taking educated leader with a triumphalist attitude and we have one in YOU. Don’t be highly strung and feel insulted by Walter. Take a moment and think about our country. Our journey from 1964 has been marked by tears. It has been an emotionally overwhelming experience. Each one of us has lost a loved one to poverty, hunger, and disease. The number of graves is catching up with the population. It’s time to change our political culture. It’s time for Zambian intellectuals to cultivate an active-positive progressive movement that will change our lives forever. Don’t be afraid or dispirited, rise to the challenge and salvage the remaining few of your beloved ones.

Field Ruwe is a US-based Zambian media practitioner and author. He is a PhD candidate with a B.A. in Mass Communication and Journalism, and an M.A. in History

Source: Mindofmalaka.wordpress.com

Practical ways to make money from your hobbies, talents and gifts byTitilayo Ama

by Titilayo Ama



Hi there! I’m here again but this time to share how we can turn our lovely Hobbies, our talents or gifts or whatever we have inside of us to something that would help bring money to our pockets no matter how small.

What really is a HOBBY? A hobby could mean different things to different people but the main thing is a HOBBY is something you enjoy doing out of your own free will, it’s an activity or an interest that you pursue outside your regular occupation and you do it primarily for pleasure. We all know what Hobbies are right?? For some people, their hobbies could be reading, swimming, playing chess, dancing, travelling, inspiring people, drawing, cooking, etc the list is endless…But today we’ll be sharing some ways in which you can actually get paid for doing what you really love.

You can make some money from these hobbies but here’s the thing don’t take the fun out of it. See it as Business for others and Hobby to you. You’re already hooked up with your 9-5 so don’t try to add another to it, lol. Remember, you’re making money from what you love doing not that you’re been paid for what you have to do. It’s your Hobby not a Chore.

We’ll take this article in 2 parts so we don’t have you reading endlessly. We want you to Read then Digest what you’ve read and Get to work ASAP. We’ll take 1 Case-study and then give 3 money-making examples for several others but 1^st we need to know the Rules.

RULES FOR MAKING MONEY FROM HOBBIES

Rules?? Yes, there are certain rules that you must follow so you don’t take the fun out of it.

• Follow your Passion (Choose a Hobby that you really love and you’re passionate about)


• Be Creative (Think outside the Box People)


• Don’t look down on yourself (Never underestimate your ability, never do that. You’ve got it in you remember and it’s your hobby we are talking about not mine.


• Practice makes Perfect( You’ve got to keep practicing so you become perfect in your Hobby, to make money you need to be very good at it)


• Have Fun (Don’t turn your Hobby to a Chore. While you’re making money, have lots of fun doing it)

STEP BY STEP GUIDE

I’ll be listing some hobbies and I’ll give 2 or 3 examples on how to make money from them.

Hobby Case Study 1: Love making people look beautiful (Makeup Artistry)

Ladies love the attention beauty brings, even men are not left out these days

• Start with a Free Service first to get people to know about you.


• Start Blogging.

Write about your Hobby on your Blog, some people might want to learn about Makeup, use your Blog to teach them. Also on your Blog show pictures of your works.

• Use Social Media to get people on Board. Create a Facebook Fanpage to display your works. Create “How to” videos on Youtube and sync these videos to your Facebook Fanpage. Remember you’re doing all these to get people on board. To get value, you need to offer value. People need to see what you can do.


• When your works are out in the Public. Start Advertising by all means possible.


• Next, you can offer mini trainings. Teach people how to do what you do. You can start with a small fee and then increase it as you grow.


• I’ll stop here for now………………..Use your Imagination

I’ll stop here for now. Hope you enjoyed reading and you learnt a few things from what I shared.

In this concluding part of MY HOBBY MY PASSION MY MONEY we would be listing 3 other Hobby Case Studies and how you can make money from these hobbies. I might not have listed your Hobby in these case studies but from the examples you would have an idea of how turn your Hobby to a money making venture.

If you take note, I always include *Start Blogging* as part of the tips. Asides having a static website, it’s best to have a Blog to help engage your site visitors. We’ll discuss about that later.

Take a look at the remaining Hobbies.

Hobby Case Study 2: Dancing

All over the world now Show business is spreading like wild fire, you can take   advantage of this.

• Offer yourself as a Dance Instructor for Schools, Kindergaten, etc


• Start a Dance Class or a Mini Dance School where you can teach people how to dance.


• Expand your Horizon. Learn different types of Dances so you can have a wider range of people to teach and reach.


• Have a Dance group where you can go for events such as Birthday Parties, weddings, Youth Programmes, etc and you get paid for that. You can even train a small group of little kids how to dance professionally and have them dazzle people at events.


• Yes, you can also Start Blogging where you can share (for example) the Benefits of Dancing to the body, etc


• Create Dance Videos which you can turn to Weight Loss Dance Exercise Videos, you can also share them on your Blog.

Hobby Case Study 3: Love Inspiring People

Everybody needs inspiration, I love been inspired to.

• Offer yourself as a Public Speaker. Go to schools, events and give a 15min speech that will help inspire people at the events.


• Write an Inspiring book which you can sell both offline and online as an eBook.


• Offer short term courses for people who need them. Speak to students, young adults and gradually you’ll get paid for Inspiring and Motivating People.


• Start Blogging. Share your Inspiring Articles on your Blog. Interview people who you strongly believe are a source of Inspiration to a lot of people. Share Success Stories, the list is endless.

Hobby Case Study 4: Photography

With your Business cards, some diligence and of course your Camera, you’re good to go

• Start by offering free photography service for your family and friends events to hone your skills.


• Take pictures during weddings, parties, graduation ceremonies and of course Family Portraits. Take a portrait of your family and start visiting other families showing them what you can do, you can even offer them at a reduced price and have fun taking pictures of them (while making some money too)


• You can also run a photo Studio where people can come and have their pictures taken for various reasons


• The opportunities are endless

I could go on and on but I’ll stop here. I know you’ve got hobbies and maybe I haven’t mentioned them here.

Do you cook well?? Start making money from cooking, by cooking for a friend’s birthday party or a baby dedication and if your food is great, people will start asking ‘’who made your food’’. You can also start a Blog where you share different recipes and how to prepare different kinds of food.

Do you draw well?? Why not start a comic series, my little brother Femi loves comics a lot, a lot of children do, have so much fun drawing and make money doing it.

Is it travelling?? Start a Travel Blog about all the places you have travelled to, show pictures of places you’ve been to, when I wanted to visit Olumo Rock, I had to come online to check for people that had been there before, who knows I would have read your Blog if only you started it.

I’ll stop here for now. Hope you enjoyed reading and you learnt a few things from what I shared.

REMEMBER: Always Have fun even when you’re making money from it, it’s your hobby, it should give you pleasure.



Follow Titilayo on Twitter, @teeteelayo



Source: Spread Media



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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Gabriel Olatunji: The 'Un-changeable' Nigeria! Nigeria can NEVER changeIF.. #MondayInspiration

Gabriel Olatunji 'Legend'



It was a Monday morning and I wasn’t going out with the car as I have to make different stops at different locations I am not familiar with, before finally heading to the office. I was on a bike that took me to the gate of my estate and from there I located the popular ‘Keke Napep’ which was to take me to a major bus-stop where I would then be able to take any public transport of my choice. I hopped in and by the time we got to a T-Junction; someone was there directing the traffic, we had been stopped while the other road users were being passed. We had not spent two minutes when I heard a voice from behind, I thought it was just another frustrated Nigerian man but it wasn’t. It was a uniform man asking the driver why he was obeying the traffic law.

The other passengers were as dazed as I was; the statement from the driver inspired me to write this article. He said, “Nigeria don pafuka finish, if a uniform man can ask you to break the law; then who is to uphold the law.” I felt ashamed for my country! Every day of our lives we accuse the government of being corrupt and not working towards the transformation of our dear country but today I bring to you a different perspective to this whole issue – Nigeria will never change until YOU (not the Nigerian government) becomes ‘un-corrupted’. It is not because the Nigerian leaders are corrupt that we are still wallowing in this state, it’s because the Nigerian citizenry is corrupt. Let me ask you; were the Nigerian leaders alien before becoming our leaders? They were full blown citizens of this country – they grew up here and what they are producing for us are the seeds we have sown inside of them.

What is corruption? Corruption is unjust gain or advantage. It is access to profit or possession without the authentic pathway of labor or favor. The violation of principles to arrive at profit is corruption. Simply put, corruption is dishonesty or illegal behavior.

• In Nigeria you can pass examinations without studying while the person who studied can fail.


• In Nigeria you can get the best job without being qualified while the qualified roam about the city of Lagos still seeking jobs.


• In Nigeria the salary of a police officer cannot feed and house his family; yet we arm him and expect him to protect citizens. Won’t he enrich himself first before thinking about any other person?


• In Nigeria we break traffic rules every day and yet we say the government are corrupt; what a deceitful citizenry – we are the corrupt one.


• In Nigeria we drive without licenses and carry about cars with expired papers; when we are challenged by the men of government, we simply slip N200 into their palms and we say the government is corrupt – We are all liars – we are the corrupt government.


• In Nigeria you can work in the civil service commission for thirty years or more and when it’s time to collect your pension the system allows you to die on the queue. Yet we expect that the son of the man who served the government for thirty years will also be patriotic and do the same. Of course, he knows there’s a shorter route to make money and that is politics or fraud.


• In Nigeria sellers cheat buyers every day, DSTV increases dues yearly, business partners assassinate themselves, politicians poisons themselves, the government tax our roads on a per second billing, every one throws dirt on the street even where there are waste bins, the petrol attendant resets the counter to favor his/her pocket and cheat unsuspecting buyers, the youth are heavily involved in different forms of fraud, notable among them is ‘Yahoo-Yahoo’, the lecturers freely demand sex for marks and the students join cultism groups for influence. The list goes on!

I am sorry to disappoint you that until ‘Nigerians’ changes for good, Nigeria will NEVER be better. I have not come to forecast evil neither have I come as a prophet of doom. I am as optimistic as many of you are that this country will be Great but if that is to happen, these basic things must be corrected;

• YOU (as a citizen) must DECIDE to be incorruptible in your dealings every day even if it means spending hours in police stations for refusing to give bribe. Imagine if Nigerians declare a “Corruption Free Day” that day will mark the turning point in our nation as our police stations will be filled with hundreds of people who have been arrested for failing to pay bribes and our police force will sit up and hopefully be inspired to police us better. How many of us can they take to court in one day?


• YOU must refuse to do what CANNOT stand the test of PUBLIC SCRUTINY -  When you know that you will either be jailed, suspended or lose credibility if what you are doing in the secret place come open then you have no business doing it, no matter how little.


• YOU must decide to place MAKING A DIFFERENCE above making a living. You must live to a point where your presence is felt by Nigerians around you and your absence is noticed. Start a community project – let us all sit down and identify the problems facing this country and if 20 000 of us decide to take on one problem each, imagine the transformation that will happen to this country. If nobody celebrated your birth and nobody will TRULY be sad when you die, you are living a wasted life. Ask yourself, am I making a difference in my community or state?


• YOU must STAND for what is right even if it means STANDING ALONE. It is time for Nigerians to become radically positive by shunning every little act of corruption. If Jonathan is wrong, don’t keep quiet because you are looking for political appointments and when he’s right; be wise enough to give him credit.

Lastly, Nigeria will NEVER change until the NEW Nigeria we seek becomes a burning dream in our hearts. You must have your own Nigerian dream – pick up a sheet of paper and write your own Nigerian dream and include what you will contribute to make the dream a reality.

I BELIEVE IN NIGERIA!



P.S: This article was inspired by the speakers at the Excellence in Leadership Conference held last week.



Gabriel Olatunji Legend is an inspirational writer, speaker and blogger. Follow him on Twitter; @OLATUNJISPEAKS and also read inspirational articles on his blog, www.olatunjispeaks.com



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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Dele Momodu: Big lessons from Abu Dhabi

Dele Momodu



Fellow citizens, this is certainly a good time to be a proud Nigerian. It must be obvious to all and sundry what the source of that pride is. If you missed the Nigeria-Mexico under-17 final match played in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates, last night, you missed a great deal. The game was that wonderful. Our guys played with mathematical precision. Their approach was scientific. And they had no time to waste. They must have realised the hopes of 170 million people rested on them. Ours is a country where bad news has been the order of the day. We could afford to indulge in the giddiness of football and derive some fun in a rare moment of ecstasy.

I’m glad I didn’t miss that incredible match despite a bout of satanic flu that nearly knocked me out like a victim of trypanosomiasis.  Thanks to my ever dependable Ghanaian Assistant, Michael Yirenkyi, who woke me up from a deep slumber. The whole of Africa was represented in that game. The match was so gripping that I sweated profusely inside an air-conditioned room. Those of us who watched from home were probably more anxious than those at the stadium. One, two, three goals, the game was sealed and delivered. Nothing was going to stop us now. We made the Mexicans eat the humble pie. I saw their coach drink water as if he was one of the players. The game must have been too hot for him to the point that he was famished and needed to replenish. He looked forlorn and pitiable. I saw a Mexican female fan staring into oblivion and outer space. She was chanting what seemed like incantations. I don’t know how efficacious prayers could be at that stage when your team was already three goals down. But hope is always the last organ to die in man. Failure is a bad thing. It diminishes its victim. And great Mexico was no exception.

The Nigerian players were simply majestic. All the boys played well, the reason we didn’t see loads of changes. There was no sense in confusing a good team. They played like a team that definitely wanted to rule the world. Champions are usually imbued with uncommon passion and unlimited stamina. The determination of these young boys to excel was always palpable from the start of the tournament. They left no one in doubt as to the direction they wanted to go. They united against all foes, thus confirming the aphorism, united we stand, divided we fall. They made the game of football look so beautiful to watch. They entertained. They scored. And they won. That was not all; they sent a powerful message to you and me. It is very easy to bury ourselves in the euphoria of victory like we always do before we return to status quo. But we must seize the opportunity to remind ourselves of a few salient points.

There are very big lessons to learn from what happened in Abu Dhabi. I will pick them one by one for easy and straight-forward analysis. These boys were young. Youthfulness granted them a few advantages. They were energetic. They were brave. They were adventurous. They were daring. They had many things to prove. It is difficult to achieve what you cannot achieve as a young man when you’ve become too old and tired. Let me put it another way, all great achievers started showing signs and promise of what to come as infants. You can’t suddenly become a genius in geriatric age. That is why they always catch them young in developed societies. No nation can be great without securing the future of its youths. Primary and secondary education are germane in the building of that solid future.

Let’s translate this into issues of Leadership. The world’s greatest Leaders did not achieve greatness overnight. Many of them had sound education. They worked in important institutions or ran successful ventures. They had proven records of spectacular talents. They didn’t have to wait on anyone to move from glory to exaltation. They were products of hard work, raw determination and tenacity. Examples abound in Nigeria. Abubakar Balewa, Nnamdi Azikiwe, Obafemi Awolowo, Oba Adesoji Aderemi, Chinua Achebe, Wole Soyinka, Yakubu Gowon, Murtala Mohammed, Olusegun Obasanjo, Samuel Ladoke Akintola, Moshood Abiola, Chief Commander Ebenezer Obey, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, King Sunny Ade, Mike Adenuga Jnr., Aliko Dangote, Tony Elumelu, and others were all young, vibrant and energetic men when they catapulted onto national stage, continental prominence and international recognition. Sorry, if I appear like a male chauvinist by using only men for the purpose of illustrating my argument. Ours was a male-dominated society (and still is) before the women started breaking down the walls of superstitions prejudice.

Those Leaders were like the young players we saw yesterday playing out their hearts. They were well-fortified with quality education. Many of them studied abroad and returned home with the hope of stepping into the shoes of the out-bound colonial rulers. Some of them arrived home with lofty dreams of transforming the seeming backwardness of Africa into a continent of possibilities. They wanted to replicate some of those brilliant developments they saw abroad. The brightest among them saw the need to establish a university, stadium, radio and television, a skyscraper, housing estates, water corporations, cooperative societies, government colleges, free education, free health, aerodromes, supermarkets, and so on. That was before politics reared its ugly head and began to destroy to wonderful institutions.

If Nigeria had remained in the hands of technocrats and not under the grip of political jobbers, perhaps the story would have been different. The politicians became so rancorous and cantankerous and it was only a matter of time before something would give and the whole edifice would come tumbling down. I watched the video of a BBC interview with Kaduna Nzeogwu on YouTube last week and could not believe how youthful, charismatic and idealistic he was. Only a young man would have embarked on such an audacious mission without thinking of repercussions. That purported revolution failed because of our peculiar configuration along ethnic and religious lines. Jerry John Rawlings was much luckier in that he managed to sustain a revolution which set Ghana on the path to rediscovery and national re-orientation. Ours was blown apart and exploded into an orgy of war and brigandage resulting in one of Africa’s bloodiest civil wars. Despite the imperfections of our post-colonial political Leaders, they were much more patriotic, disciplined, committed and certainly less corrupt than the ones who emerged much later.

The Nigerian under-17 team displayed our diversity and how it can be harnessed. No one complained yesterday that there were more Northerners in the team. We forgot our ethnic and religious differences. There was no zoning, quota system or Federal character. The coach was not accused of ethnic bias or religious bigotry. The boys played as one indivisible family. The bigger lesson in this is that Nigeria must jettison all those artificial barriers that have encumbered us for too long before we can move forward. All those ethnic jingoists who make state of origin the only credential needed for positions of power and authority must think twice. Small boys have shown us how we can unite to lift Nigeria up by putting our best materials forward. I don’t care how many Yoruba or Igbo or Hausa or Ijaw or Ibibio, or Tiv or Fulani boys were fielded yesterday. All I wanted was what the boys delivered. It was impossible for 250 or more ethnic groups to be represented in a game of football.

There were only eleven boys on the field at a time to represent millions of us but they sparkled like a million stars. I saw Muhammed, Okon, Awoniyi, Yahaya, Bello, Idowu, Alampasu, Nwakali, and others sweating it out on our behalf. That is how it should be. If we had replicated the same spirit in politics, we would not have been in this mess. Our attempt to represent every single tribe in the political affairs of Nigeria is what has led to the present conundrum.

The effect of our huge population was also felt yesterday. Nigerian supporters out-screamed the Mexicans. Those who are advocating for the break-up of Nigeria should bury their heads in shame. I’m firmly of the opinion that there is strength in number. The Chinese and the Indians have convinced the world about because they have used their humongous population to massive advantage. The stature and status of Russia diminished after the collapse of Soviet Union. I can’t imagine what would become of the tiny nations that would come out Nigeria in case the unexpected happens to us. The proponents of the death of our union need to be told, without any equivocation, that breaking up Nigeria would only be the beginning and not the end of our problems.

I draw relevant examples from state creations. How many of our states are better off today than when we had only six regions? What difference has the presidency in the current dispensation made to the people of Niger Delta or the South South in general order than creating a few emergency billionaires? All the other states that produced Presidents in the past, it would be nice to examine what they gained.

This is why I often wonder why we’ve allowed a few selfish people to hold us to ransom through the self-help strategy of throwing all of us into disarray by using ethnicity and religion to confuse us. I’m not sure if you often imagine like I do about what drives a Nigeria politician. What are his motivations? What are his dreams? What is his mental state? Why does he behave like someone permanently on high? Why does he love, crave and spend money so much? What exactly does he do with his primitive accumulation of wealth? What are his principles, philosophy and ideology? Which God does he worship?

Wherever two or more Nigerians are gathered, arguments must ensue about the political upheavals in our country. Our citizens have become anti-socials who can no longer engage in decent conversations over dinner. We talk and moan wildly while eating. We gossip and lament our woes endless.

A simple game of football provided all the answers we crave. The Nigerian politician is just selfish, pure and simple. He knows the truth but would not do the needful. He would never be a team player because he thinks it is better to claim all the glory and perks. But some of the best players hardly score themselves. They are those who know how to pass the balls to the waiting strikers.

They are the type of selfless leaders Nigeria needs urgently and desperately.

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Read this article in the Thisday Newspapers

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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How To Increase Your Income? Increase The Quality Of Your Thoughts

Sam Adeyemi



The quality of our thoughts determine the quality of our lives. To increase our value therefore, we must increase the quality of our thoughts.

Dear reader, how high do you desire to go in life? How wealthy do you want to be?

Now begin to introduce more challenging ideas into your mind. Get more knowledge. Dream greater dreams. As your thought appreciates in quality, everything around you will begin to appreciate.

Read books that can move you forward in your career, business, family and finances. Then associate with those who are already successful. Rub minds with them. Ask questions.

Also listen to tapes. By all means acquire superior knowledge. Because to be more is to know more. As you alter your thoughts, God will alter your circumstances. Think like a successful person. Dismiss thoughts of failure, poverty and mediocrity from your mind.

You will rise to the top.

Quote: “Begin to introduce more challenging ideas into your mind. Get more knowledge. Dream greater dreams. As your thought appreciates in quality, everything around you will begin to appreciate”



Follow @sam_adeyemi

Source: SuccessDigest

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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10 guaranteed principles of becoming a successful person

By Bello Timilehin



I was in Lagos on 27th October, 2013 and all thanks to God and comedian Wazobia FM OAP, Yaw  who helped me to attend the Lagos Empowerment and Resource Network “Time out with the youth” organised by First Lady of Lagos State, Abimbola Fashola (L.E.A.R.N) and it had a great mentor, preacher and orator as the guest speaker, in person of Dr. Myles Munroe. I learnt a lot that day because it changed me and I also decided to publish this online for people who weren’t present there.

NOTE: Every human Being was created to be a leader but not over people.

Let me tell you a story about Myles Munroe, When he was age 16, he started speaking on Leadership and at age 17, the prime minister of his state called his mother’s phone and said “I’d Like to meet your son, Myles went ahead to see him. The prime minister said to him “Do you know you have more influence in my country than I do? Myles was shocked and embarrassed and he replied “ Mr Prime Minister, you are the president of this country, how can a 17years old boy be more powerful than you? And he said “Son you can bring together 5000people in a place without them smoking cigarette, take alcohol and they all gather to listen to you, I can never bring together5000 teenagers in my country, they will never listen to me, and they are the future of my country and you young man control the future of my country. Can you tell me your secret? Myles replied “ Sir I don’t know, I just gather them to tell them what happened in my life, I was in a family of 13, A father, A mother, and 11 children. I remember when I was sleeping on the floor with mosquito bitting me and roaches everywhere and my teacher in school told me “I’m ignorant, I can not learn anything, Am retarded and am black, am not real human and he is just wasting his time teaching me, I went to my mum and told her what the teacher told me and my mum said son never say that again and she gave me a book and in that book I learnt who I am and ten principles I needed to possess and that is what made me. My teacher told me blacks are monkeys and not human, and he said am a monkey.. After reading the book I went from F to A’s and was the best student in high school, I got an award and I gave it to the teacher who called me a Monkey, and i told him am a smart monkey, he was embarrassed and he said How did you do it?

NOTE: Don’t let anyone tell you who you are.

Every Human wants to succeed! No one decides to fail, we all want to achieve.

Do you know that your success is good For God? God needs you to succeed. Every manufacturer who makes a product wants the product to succeed. God design seed to be successful to bring forth tree. Seed into the soil and with water and sunlight help the seed to succeed.

You need some principles to succeed!

WHAT ARE THE TEN PRINCIPLES?

1)            PURPOSE: Purpose is the original reason for the creation of a thing. E.g A bird was created by God to fly. If it doesn’t fly then it hasn’t fulfil its purpose. You were born to do something very special, if you don’t find your gift and don’t discover what you are born to do, then you have failed. You must discover your purpose. The reason behind your creation. Success is measured by what you are born to do. Your purpose is the ideas that keeps coming to your mind. Your purpose is what you complain alot and needs to be changed in your country. The same way a bird is trapped in flight, Your purpose is trapped in you. DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE.

2)            PASSION: Passion is the desire stronger than opposition, disappointment and death. A person with passion doesn’t need external motivation, A person with passion is someone who is willing to lose friends, sacrifice thier pleasures, doesn’t need alarm clock to wake, A person with passion doesn’t get bored because life itself is really for living. Passion is when you discover your purpose for living.

3)            PLANNING: Planning is writing your dream in a piece of paper. If you don’t document your dream you don’t want to achieve. Someone asked “How do you know if your dream is the right dream?” Here’s the answer, if your dream only benefits you then its not from God, True vision and true dreams always benefits others around you. A young boy was asked “ What’s your dream” He replied “I have a dream to own a 10room apartment next to the beach, Travel all around the world, eat whatever I want to eat.. That is not a vision, its a personal ambition. Get a dream in your heart to help other people. Don’t follow personal ambition. You must put your purpose and passion on Paper.

4)            PRINCIPLES: You must live by principles if you are going to be successful. What are the principles? LAWS! You must live by principle to protect your purpose. For example,  Myles Munroe lived in a neighbourhood where people smoke cigarette, marijuana and take all sort of alcohols, he never snuffed a marijuana leaf, or drink alcohol or smoke cigarette. When they offer him these things, he remembered he wrote his dreams on paper. He knows when he smoke its gonna hurt his liver, and he is gonna lose his dream. A young girl wants to have sex with him, it sounds good, but he remember he wrote his dreams on paper and when he sleep with her and she gets pregnant, He would be forced to marry her. So he told her, i can’t sleep with you, my dream is more important than Sex. Principles are what you painfully decides and you are not violating.

5)            PEOPLE: If you want to be successful, you must choose the right people to be in your life. Some of you have friends before reading this, if you read well, you will change your friend after reading this. Who is a friend? A friend is anyone who can help you fulfil your dreams, who can take you to your destiny, who can help you achieve your vision. If you have a friend who can’t help you to achieve your vision, or can’t take you to your destiny or can’t help you to fulfil your dream is NOT a friend. If your friend tells you, let’s go drink alcohols, he is not a friend, they only want to cancel your dream, You must tell your friends, I read this article and I made some changes and one of the changes I made was YOU. Check your friends out. If you are the smartest amongst your friend, you have to change the group, you need to be among people that can make you grow, ask you question and help you think bigger. You can outgrow your friend. People who are doing nothing wants you to do it them. People who are going nowhere wants you to go with them. I want you to tell them GOODBYE. Your future is determined by the friends you keep. You cannot choose your brothers and sisters but you can choose your friends. Friends are more important than brothers and sisters. King Solomon said brothers and sister are for adversity but friends would love you at all times. Don’t be with people who don’t believe your vision. You can be the next president of this country but someone would want you to smoke, drink alcohol have sex and destroy your dream. Protect your dream from people who would destroy it. People can either help you or hurt you. There are 4 types of people

- Multipliers: Those who multiply to your dream

- Substract: Those who distract you and substract from your dream.

-Divide: Those who divide from you and confuse you.

-Add: Those who add to your dream

I am here to multiply to your dreams… Am a good friend!

A book can be the best friend in your life. Books are good people. Lock the door, turn off the T.V and speak to a friend through the pages of a book. Stop wasting time and read books. They can keep friend with you. The Eagle is the most successful bird in the world. Eagles fly alone, they dont fly with any other birds. If you are going to be a successful young man, stay away from the crowd, scare away from the gang.



6)            PERSISTENCE: You insist on getting what you dream, you lost everything, people left you, people disappointed you but never lost your dream. Persistence is when you decide no matter what happens am coming back.



7)            PATIENCE: No one is successful in a day/year. Patience is postponing the fulfilment of pleasures. Patience is not complaining, patience is working while you are waiting, Patience is preparing yourself for which you are preparing to recieve. My friend asked me (Myles Munroe) what you going to do after high school, i said i want to go to college,He said he wants to go and work in the gas station and in 4years he will have more money. I knew i didn’t have money but i was patience, My elder sister saw my dream on paper and gave me all the money that she saved for her house and I used the money to go to school, I knew I needed a scholarship and I studied to get a 4.0. your problem is not money, start somewhere. Good news: My company is one of the largest and my sister is the administrative assistant. Do you know who pays her salary? Her younger brother,  Do you know who is my financial director?, Her husband. Do you know who is the director of multimedia liveshow, Her daughter. She never knew she gave that money to her boss. Be nice to someone today.



8)            PERSEVERANCE: Perseverance is gettting up after you fall down. Every successful person is a result of getting back up. If you lose all your money, all your friends, Get back up. Never trust a person who hasn’t survived anything. A hard hands is what you pay to set your people free. Imagine the life of Nelson Mandela. You will never be accepted until you are being totally rejected. When you talk you learn what you know, when you listen you learn what the other man knows, when you are in the midst of great people, Don’t talk, but ask questions. Stop trying to make an easy life, do what is right all the time.



9)            POSTERITY: The next generation. If you are going to be a successful man/woman, success is measured by what you do for others. Is your dream big enough for the unborn to enjoy it? Think about your dreams, can you transfer what you are doing to the next generation. Success always think of posterity.



10)          PRAYER: It is the most important one. Prayer is daily consulting the one who gave you number one (PURPOSE). God is important, no one knows a product like the manufacturer. You must spend time with him more than anybody else. When you are reading, stop and talk to the manufacturer, when you are driving, talk to him and sometimes don’t talk, Just listen!



Note: Do not seek success, seek to become a person of value. Make yourself valuable by discovering your gift and your dream. Your gift would attract people to you. You were not born for yourself, you were born for us. Do you know that the cemetry is the wealthiest place on earth. Why? Because there in the cemetry are books that were never written, in  the grave yard, there are music that were never heard, there are poetry that were never being read, In the cemetry we have dreams that died as night mares. In the graveyard there are schools that never opened, In the grave yard, there are great men who died as alcoholics, In the grave yard there are great women who died as prostitute and drug addicts. The grave yard is so wealthy. It is that same grave yard that made me write this, because I don’t want the grave yard to get an awesome treasure. I wrote this to tell you, Don’t take your dreams, your books, your vision, your ideas to the cemetry. I wrote this to help you die empty. I wrote this because I want you to disappoint the cemetry. I want you to die like a man that said “I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. SEE YOU AT THE TOP.



- This Principles were taught by Myles Munroe at L.E.A.R.N “Time out with the youth” at LTV 27th October, 2013.



Source: YNaija



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