Wednesday, February 5, 2014

PrincessTalks: My dad's first words to me 'you are always angry' hit melike a heavy slap

Many people have trouble managing their anger. I, for example truly do not know how to control my anger or what gets me angry. Recently, I got into a heated argument with my younger brother and it was turning into a huge fierce battle with voices being raised and words hurled at each other and my dad came in to intervened. His first words, ' you are always angry' hit me like a heavy slap on my cheeks and for that moment I felt several emotions playing within my very emotional heart. I felt hurt, insulted, judged that I began to sob, very bitter. I tried reflecting on the cause of the argument only to realize it was something so minimal that a little patience would definitely handle.

Most times, we do things we don't even notice but are usually problems for people around us. In my case, guess it is worse because I rarely express my anger but bury it and act upon it later on. It is way better to express what you feel at  that particular moment and move on like nothing happened, being mindful in expressing them in safe ways.

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Most times, people suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder due to anger (happens to me). Anger is totally unsafe and can cause lots of problem in your relationship with family and friends. it also leads to violence, with the extra adrenaline pumping, large surge of energy making you react in ways you normally wouldn't. Letting your anger turn to violence makes it even more important for you to maintain and get help with your feelings.

I got this little piece of advice from my aunt and I would love to share. She said that In managing your anger; start by recognizing what triggers the emotion, think about the last time you were angry, what your reaction was before you got angry, when you were angry and after you got calm, also try recognizing the signs of anger - clenching of fists and feet, tapping, tense muscles, etc. Try the calm techniques, think of anything to make you calm and in control. Breath in and out, learn to be assertive and make people able to reach out to you and not you in anger. If none is working, then try going for a long walk, make sure you leave the area of your anger, enjoy the feel of nature and appreciate the work of divine grace around you. Above all always pray that God gives you the strength to keep that slow killer at bay. It actually took my dad to point me back to track.



Written by Obi  Adayaeze Princess – Follow her on Twitter, @adayaeze | You can send a mail to olatunjispeaks@gmail.com for enquiries.

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