Funto Ibuoye: Much Ado about virginity; Is it really worth it? (YoungVoices, Day 1)

by Funto Ibuoye

[caption id="attachment_1227" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Funto Ibuoye[/caption]



I had to ask my self the question- "was saving my virginity until marriage really worth it?" after a few days into marriage and we were still trying to break my hymen. The pain. The emotions.



So was it worth it? It certainly was; with all the pain and drama and emotions of getting dis-virgined, it was totally worth it. Because it was absolutely right. Everything about it was just right. The right person (my loving husband). The right time (after our vows before God and man) and the right place (our undefiled marriage bed!).



That whole phase taught me a huge lesson- that marriage is more than just sex even though sex is an important part of marriage.



Sex is not a sin. Fornication is. Adultery is. God created sex and it is good; however, it is to be enjoyed ONLY in marriage.



Growing up, I always had this idea in my head that my destiny was tied to my virginity so if I ever had sex before marriage, I would lose my destiny. I honestly can't say where I got that idea from but it stayed in my heart. I knew that I had a great destiny ahead of me that could be lost if I got involved in premarital sex.



Virginity is beyond having an unbroken hymen; it is more about PURITY of the heart and body.  God is more interested in our purity than in our virginity; He's more interested in a pure heart than in a well kept hymen.



Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying go out and throw away your hymen. What I'm saying is, beyond keeping your virginity intact and saving it as a gift for your husband, keep your heart pure. The bible says guard your heart with all diligence not guard your virginity...



While I was still single, there were times I had to ask myself why I was keeping my virginity. Was I keeping it-

As a gift to my husband? Would being a virgin make me a great wife and awesome mother?  Was I keeping it because I did not want to disappoint my mother by getting pregnant out of wedlock?

For a long while, I remained a virgin because I did not fully understand why and because of fear of losing my destiny and fear of getting pregnant out of wedlock. But my heart wasn't pure. It was filled with Mills and Boons, Silhouette and the likes converting porn into a story and presenting it as a romance novel. My heart was far from pure.



I got into a Covenant Of Purity and prayed for God to cleanse my heart. It was then that I came to fully understand that I wasn't just to keep my virginity because of the reasons mentioned earlier which of course are not bad, but because I now understood that God places a high value on my body and a higher value on my heart, and He requires that I keep my heart pure above all else. Our bodies are the temple of God and it's our duty to keep His temple pure and holy and it all starts from the heart.



Whether you have an unbroken or a broken hymen, what really matters at the end of the day is a pure heart. A heart fully yielded in obedience to God and His word. So by all means keep your virginity if you still have it, but above all keep your heart pure.



It's not virginity that keeps a marriage together; we've heard stories of people who got married as virgins and later got divorced. But having a pure heart is capable of keeping your marriage together, because a pure heart is completely yielded to God and yielding to God is the beginning of wisdom. The Bible doesn't say a virgin bride builds her home, it says WISE woman.



Come to think of it, one of the parables of Jesus was about 10 virgins- 5 were wise and the remaining 5 were foolish.  A wise virgin is one with pure heart, fully yielded to the will of God, understands the times and makes adequate provisions. So she is well capable of building her home. While a foolish virgin is one who has no clue about anything, no extra oil for tough times and is definitely not capable of building a home. So which virgin would you rather be? (unless of course you're married and no longer one. Lol.)



Virginity is totally worth it, but don't preserve your body just for preserving sake. Let your reasons for keeping it be right, and let those reasons come from a pure heart.



**I am giving away 5 Books on Virginity; the first five people to comment on this article will be contacted by the blog as winners of the book giveaway.** You can make your comment below.



Funto Ibuoye is the author of Beautified and also hosts the Beautified show on PraiseWorld radio. Follow her on Twitter: @Funto_I and on Instagram: ifunto



(Young Voices is a quarterly 15 days campaign on this blog where 15 notable young role models will share their story - today is the first day in the first season of #YoungVoices. It continues tomorrow with another inspiring young role model)

OLATUNJISPEAKS.com is Africa's Number One Blog on Inspiration!

Would you love to get our FREE eBook in your mail? GET it HERE - http://bit.ly/1nYEET8

We will love to hear from you! Follow our blog on Twitter: @OLATUNJISPEAKS and add us on

BBM: 2BAC2A15 | Send us a mail: olatunjispeaks@gmail.com