Why She Acts The Way She Does by Fisayo Odebode

I love her because she is passionate, beautiful, gentle, curvy, detailed and care-giving. Although she gets agitated, misplaces her identity,hates herself or anyone.Please before you judge or condemn her, you’ll need to go through what she’s been through. She has been hurt by the most important people in her life. She has been raped by her own family, she has been enslaved by her supposed-to-be care givers, and she has been consistently abused physically over many years. She has since viewed herself poorly. Her image has been tarnished before her very own eyes. You blame her for running away with a silly guy who managed to tell her that she’s beautiful or intelligent? She probably hasn’t believed how smart she is yet. How in the world do you blame her for dropping out of school or making wrong choices? Are you impractical? She is living her life in reaction to all the hurt, ‘lowlessness’, pain, and lack; and she doesn’t even understand the power effect of choices.

The truth is,she already lacks confidence in herself so she will not treat herself well or believe she deserves good. She will run away with whoever calls her intelligent even if the man brings mistresses home and share her matrimonial bed, she will stay. He says she is intelligent and smart and he has says a smart woman will keep her home and ‘love’ the mistresses. She will become a slave to him.





Do you realise that she is like a wave? She is more emotional than logical. Her self-esteem increases when she feels loved. She becomes stronger, bolder, innovative, attractive, and focused. You have no right to blame or condemn her since you have not been through what she’s been through and if you have, you should know people are graced at different levels to handle situations. However, I’m not making room for anyone’s irresponsibility; I am stating that she needs help. She just has not realised it yet.



She acts the way she does because she has been in and out of trauma, she has been helpless, she has been hopeless, she found a temporary way out by living the whatever life she is living. She will run into bigger trouble than she already has. She will hurt many people, she will murder people who love her, she will end up in jail, she will have children that she cannot love, she will live on the streets when people offer her home, she’ll later realise that she has caused more pain for innocent people and destroyed her opportunity to live a legacy and transform many lives because she is angry, bitter,hopeless. She needs your help. We can change things in bits by loving her irrespective of how she treats you, she needs to know and find love. She most likely doesn’t understand the language of love yet.

I’d love that she realises that life is full of positive, negative, up, down, good and bad.

Hey! You need to believe in yourself woman! You need to love yourself like no one ever did you. Youhave to take care of yourself and develop new and positive dreams. Love does not hurt, only those who don’t know how to love put people in pain. You are a product of whatever choices you make and you are responsible for them. Embrace love and change, it will heal and transform you!



Fisayo ‘Check’ Odebode is a writer, editor, public speaker, music lover and counsellor. She is passionate about young women, leadership and growth. She is the initiator of Check Counsel Nigeria (a people oriented organization that cares for/helps stabilize children and teenagers in relation to their stage in human development through counselling). You can email her at checkcounsel@gmail.com or follow her on IG/Twitter @FisayoCheck

OLATUNJISPEAKS.com is Africa’s Number One Blog on Inspiration!

Would you love to get our FREE eBook in your mail? GET it HERE – http://bit.ly/1nYEET8

We will love to hear from you! Follow our blog on Twitter: @OLATUNJISPEAKS and add us on

BBM: 2BAC2A15 | Send us a mail: olatunjispeaks@gmail.com