P.S: "I Lost Everything I Had Worked For In My Life … So What?" IS A LONG READ BUT WORTH IT!
Most people were brought up to dream, but to also follow the rules of society in order to achieve a certain standard of success of which the Monday- Friday, “09 am- 05 pm” job is often required. We ‘dream’ of what we want to become, or at least which career path would be the most versatile for employability or ‘quick wealth’. We study for it, we toil and labour all in the name of striving for success, reaching our goals, and living the life of our dreams.
I believe truly successful people are happy ‘workers’; they don’t see themselves as people who work hard to earn a living. But as people who are fulfilling destiny and no matter the amount of labour involved, are willing to do it with pleasure even when they are at the point of exhaustion. This is because, when you are passionate about something you don’t labour for it.
There is one phrase I grew up hearing- “I hate Mondays”. So many people say this. If you hate it so much, then why do many people fast and pray so hard for a job? I grew up hearing ‘work hard’ and you’ll be successful, yet see many people dread the places they work so hard week after week in, even though they seemed successful in these jobs.
Growing up with a workaholic father, I promised myself one thing - if I was going to work and not marry a rich billionaire (my pride won’t allow me be a ‘kept wife’ even if I wanted to be) it was going to be something I loved doing.
I hate ‘work’. Yes I said it. Most of us were thinking it anyway. I work the hardest when I’m doing something I love, so I decided early enough that I was never going to slave away the best years of my life, that I was going to enjoy whatever means I chose to earn a living from and love waking up every morning to whatever I would choose as a career.
I was going to ‘love’ Mondays, sing on the way to work and never see it as cruel punishment if I had to put in extra hours because I would be passionate about my ‘work’. This was my dream; to be happy, fulfilled and glad at any path that I chose to wealth and impact. This was the only way I saw to escape the depressed circle of life that most ‘successful’ people around me lived in.
I also made a promise to myself that if I was no longer loving and enjoying whatever it was I was doing at the time, it was a clear sign to resign and begin to search for a new path. Lucky for me, I’ve never had to do so; life had its way of working things out for me to leave whenever I felt it was time. Am I rambling? Bear with me; I’ll get to the point in a bit...
With this little history about myself, I can imagine what you must think of me. Armed with this information, what would be your reaction to this statement made about me:
“I asked myself for names of people who have inspired me and your name came up. You being a female lived your life and weren’t intimidated by the men in your field or around you. You shine, even in the midst of men and that was inspiring to me.”
This was Gabby’s reply when I asked him why he chose me to be part of this esteemed project. Really? So, I had to take a look at my life and begin to ask myself why he would say that.
My life is a story of grace plus focus. I read the story of Joseph in the bible when I was very young and I saw how he had dreamed of his life at the age of 17. So, I prayed and began to search for my dreams and at the age of 13, I already knew what I was going to do the rest of my life.
My mother bought me a little to book to write my secrets but since I didn’t have any at the time, I wrote down my life plans and gave them dates - what I was going to study in university, what year I planned to graduate, what year I wanted to get married and what age I would stop having kids.
When I got to the university, I planned where I wanted to do my industrial training with the future in mind. Although ‘date- wise’ everything didn’t go according to plan due to some setbacks, I did my best to follow that little book to the letter.
With the perfect plan for my life in mind- after all, I sought God before I wrote it- I felt like my life was on a roll. That little book determined the friends I made, the curricular activities I partook in, even the places I went.
For as long as I can remember, I have been passionate about various aspects of media. The plan was simple: study it in university, start a career in radio, then crossover to television and dabble into production with writing as a ‘side- dish’. One day, I got a call:
“Sweetie, I’ve been selected to pastor one of the ministry’s churches overseas. I don’t want to pastor in a foreign country as a single man. I would like us to get married as soon as possible...” What?!!!!
At that point, I didn’t want to accept it. I had always prayed for God to give me grace to follow whatever plans he laid for me, even if it meant loosing what I loved the most. My mind accepted the wedding but not what was to come along with it.
I believe my love for God and my prayers trapped me because many times I would re-offer my life to God, asking that he use me in whatever way he pleased. I didn’t think he would take it ‘literally’...
I remember during a youth conference I once attended the preacher spoke about the true significance of the cross of Jesus in modern times and how it affects us. The cross is a like a ‘T’, it ‘crosses our lives and sometimes our best laid plans. He said sometimes our lives are well thought and planned out and on purpose God would ‘cross’ it with his own plans. Here I was, with God ‘crossing’ my plans- which by the way I consulted him for time and again.
We did not get married right away, and I had time to think and decide if I was ready to ‘throw’ my life away- so I felt at the time- and walk on the proverbial waters without the boldness or faith of Apostle Peter. I continued in my media quest, but slowed down my plans a bit.
Six months to the wedding, I got a job offer, which at the time would have been the dream for me. There was an opening to be an On-Air-Presenter at a prestigious radio station and they wanted me almost right away.
Here I was thinking I would have to work as a studio ‘rat’ for years before such an opportunity ever came but it was right there in my hands for the taking. After speaking with the station manager, and he said those precious words “you start tomorrow”, I got home and with tears in my eyes called back to say “I can’t take the job”.
I told everyone that I was too loyal to my current boss at the company where I was working at the time, that I was too young in the company to leave at the time, but that was only half of the truth.
For years I had tried to get into broadcast but it hadn’t been working out and now that the ‘universe’ had smiled on me, I turned it down. Why? Because deep down I knew that if I took the job, I may resent having to leave it all behind after the wedding. This was my final battle on the inside - to let my dreams go and let God take the reins once again.
Years down the line, I’m glad I didn’t take the job. I am living the life of my dreams, it may not be the dreams in that little book, but it is ten times better. I have been given the honour and privilege of being a blessing to countless people alongside my husband through what I do and it has given me more joy than I could imagine. Oh, and did I tell you that I still got a connection to media eventually? I’ll leave that for another day...
It is dangerous to go through life without plans, vision and focus; you’ll be headed for disaster, insignificance and a slow paced life. Life throws so many things our way, and planning is our little way of being prepared for it.
However it is more dangerous to plan your life without God’s approval because you may achieve success, but never experience true peace or lasting fulfillment. Don’t get mad, discouraged or angry when your plans do not work out the way you hoped, life in partnership with God will always end in bliss. It is important that time and again and we ask God ‘what’s the plan?’ and even if it ‘crosses’ out OUR dreams, we would be happier and better off in the end.
To dreamers who are brave enough to throw ‘it’ all away for the master’s plan; I salute you!
Tomi Sule-Emmanuel is a devoted mother, dynamic writer, passionate life and people development coach and happily married. She blogs from www.tomisule.com - Follow her on twitter: @tomicrown
(Young Voices is a quarterly 15 days campaign on this blog where 15 notable young role models will share their stories – today is the last day in the first season of #YoungVoices. Another set of #YoungVoices starts in April 2015)
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