Saturday, November 30, 2013

20 mistakes you don't want to make in your 20s

Your 20s compose undoubtedly the most pivotal time in your life. While there are plenty of temptations and distractions, the decisions you make here are truly what dictate your future, as the weak fail and only the strong survive.

Do you have what it takes to become a monumental success? Or will you live out a life of mediocrity? The choice is up to you. While many think they have all the answers and the keys to success, we have seen those people make the same pitfalls too many times before.

This is the time for you to hustle, scrap and fight for the life that you want for yourself. You manifest your own destiny during these crucial years.

Every move you make is a test. Don’t f*ck it up. These are the 20 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make In Your 20s.

20. Working for money, not for building your dreams


Never do anything just because it’s convenient for you. Look to challenge yourself and build your own dream instead of building someone else’s. Even if it doesn’t exactly make sense now, create something with great value so you can cash out big.

Always look to the future and never for immediate compensation. What are you going to do with those weekly wages anyways? Stop being so entitled and pretending like you deserve cash, prizes and vacations just yet. You will soon realize once you’ve made it that making money doesn’t make you happy. It’s the journey.




19. Thinking that this is the right time to fall in love


While all of your friends might be doing it, don’t fall into the trap of a relationship. Sure it seems like the right thing to do, but your 20s are entirely too crucial for your personal growth for you to be focusing on fulfilling the wishes of another individual.

Not only does it make you complacent with where you are in life, but it makes you boring. When your business is at stake and your future is resting on your shoulders, the last thing you need is to be bogged down by an insecure lover rushing you home.

Get out there, meet new people, test the limits and have fun. It will take you to the places you’ve only dreamed of going.




18. Trying to act like the man rather than learning how to become one


Instead of going overboard on the Gucci monogram and bottles in the club, as if you just signed to Rocnation, spend that time focusing on your career.

Every second counts and if more time is spent pretending to be the person you want to be instead of becoming that man, then you’ll sink in quick sand without even knowing it.

A real man is willing to make sacrifices. If you aren’t down to put in the work, then please don’t act like you are. You can enjoy the success when you actually attain it.




17. Making friends instead of earning trust


The in-crowd may be tempting, but you’ll probably fall victim to surrounding yourself with social climbers. We know you feel entitled to celebrate, but please relax. It’s never attractive when you act as though this is the last time you’ll ever see this in life.

Make connections with people based on trial and error, not presuppositions and drunk ranting about what they can do for your business.

If you ever want people to take you seriously, then you have to take them seriously. Just because you think you trust someone doesn’t always mean you can. Heed any red flags in the past before jumping into any kind of venture with them.




16. Not caring because you only live once — that’s for fools


We all are guilty of irrational decision-making in our 20s. Fast people and fast times with money in your pocket always lead to over-extending yourself.

A life of partying, heavy drugs and pretty much having that YOLO attitude will leave you flat on your ass. Get focused and lock into what you’re supposed to be doing. If you don’t know what that is, then you better figure it out ASAP.




15. Making all your wants, needs


Expensive women and cheap thrills coupled with the expensive sneakers should not be on the list of your needs. Setting the foundation for your business and team is far more important than updating your wardrobe and chasing sex.

Distinguish between what you want and what you actually need. Make sure your priorities are in tact or you will lose your track.




14. Forgetting that family comes first


Those who supported you before anything deserve to be taken care of when you reach your success. If you aren’t doing this for the ones you love, then you’re not doing it right. Family comes first, no matter what happens. If you work for whom you love instead of just yourself, you will get far.




13. Blaming anyone else but yourself for anything in life


Hold yourself accountable for everything. At the end of the day, all you have in the world is yourself — so go hard. Don’t look to anyone for answers and instead of making problems, create solutions.

Whether it was that job you wanted, the funding you needed or the love you think you can’t live without, there is no one that can be held accountable in this universe except for you.




12. Getting comfortable like you actually deserve down time


Unless you’re chilling with Victoria’s Secret models in Monaco this weekend, you shouldn’t even be thinking about taking a break anytime soon. You need a vacation?

What have you accomplished? Mark Cuban spent seven years building out his first business before he even took a break. Don’t get lazy now.




11. Sticking with jobs that didn’t teach you anything


A bad job is like an unhealthy relationship. Truthfully, the only reason you’re there is because it is the safest and easiest thing you know.

Any job or relationship that allows for you to get comfortable should be avoided at all costs. The last scenario you could ever want is becoming like the rest of those miserable 40-somethings faced with weekends of minivans and soccer practice.




10. Following the crowd instead of forging against it


You can be aware of the trends, but never follow them. If all your time is spent trying to adjust to your surroundings, you’ll get lost in the crowd all the more easily.

Success and greatness are constructed by trendsetters themselves, not those who latched on to what’s currently trending. We hope that you don’t have any aspirations to look like your favorite rapper. Temptation to be influenced by those who you aspire to be like is easy, but no one finds his or her calling while following in the footsteps of another.




9. Failing to energize those around you


Although you may sometimes think there is a lack of talent in your networks — this is never the case. It is your sole responsibility to inspire, encourage and drive those around you to succeed.

Failing to do so only confirms that you fall victim to that which you accuse others of. Change and greatness can be sparked everywhere, but bring it upon yourself to trigger it.




8. Thinking you need to stop learning and growing


You have more zeros at the end of your bank statement and stamps in your passport than you had ever imagined. Don’t consider this your victory lap, but rather as a taste of greatness. Do you live to enjoy the moments you dreamed of or a lifetime of unimaginable success?

The common misconception that once things are in your favor, you no longer have to put in the 3:00AM work hours is a dangerous problem. The fewer nights that you’re willing to put in the work, the fewer opportunities you will have to celebrate your achievements in the future.




7. Thinking that anyone will ever pay you back


Your 20s will be accompanied with a slew of poor investments by both you and those around you. Whether rich or poor, there will always be someone in your circle that will need a helping hand. If you ever think you’re going to see that money again, you’re sorely mistaken.

If there were a plan of action and re-investment, then the truth is that you will not see $1 back. Times are tough, especially in your 20s and finding a route back to financial freedom is often seen only when winning the lotto or signing your first deal with Ca$h Money Records.

Of course miracles do happen, but the probabilities that you’ve essentially given the money away are far too high.




6. Investing in relationships with the wrong values


Your love life is an investment — and the smarter the deals you execute, the savvier of an investor you become. Instead of navigating through an ambiguous investment in which you shower your lover with cash and prizes for existing, make sure he or she will demonstrate positive returns. Your love life should have a solid ROI.




5. Holding on to friends that waste your time and add no value to your life


You’ll be sucked down into the abyss right with them if you don’t cut the fat of the group. Family and friends could have been great to you as a child, but if they no longer hold the value and inspiration that is needed for you to thrive in life, then cut them loose.

The only individuals you should be surrounding yourself with are those that challenge your ideas and motivate you to find the next solution to your problems. No, not the pessimistic assh*les who shoot down your ideas with their negativity, but rather the ones who genuinely want to see you succeed no matter what you do in life.




4. Forgetting about the piggy bank and spending every dollar you have


If our check is for $9, then we’re most likely spending $30. Between credit cards, school loans and every other avenue for attaining a quick dollar, our need for immediate gratification is worse than ever.

The truth is it’s about making more money, not saving it. But at the same time, if you have no means for expanding your revenue channels, then you must be able to save a few dollars here and there. No one likes to have to walk to work because he blew every dollar at LAVO.




3. Not wrapping it before tapping it


If you don’t want to have a child then you better limit your excuses. As vulgar as it may sound, sometimes there are only a few options in life, so you must avoid all potential margins of error.

The road to success is not paved with having responsibilities of children and your future wife to be. This is a somewhat lonely journey that you must take by yourself and those you love will be able to celebrate with you after.




2. Dating unstable people with mommy and daddy issues


We need to control the invincibility we all feel when it comes to both men and women. Whether she’s a stripper or he’s a frat bro, we feel the need to be the knight in shining armor for our lovers.

As chivalrous as this may seem, we hate to break it to you, but you will never be able to change anyone. By setting yourself up for a losing battle, you’ve only ensured your misery for the next few months. She’s clingy for a reason, don’t be her Dr. Phil. And if he doesn’t have ambition now, he never will.




1. Forgetting that karma is a huge b*tch


Whether it’s burning bridges with people you loved, stealing your friend’s girlfriend or plotting against an ex-partner, we must always remember that karma is the biggest b*tch we’ve ever met.

There is nothing more true than the fact that whatever goes around comes around, and you are not immune to the cosmic forces that be. We’re not asking you to go on your Mother Teresa pilgrimage, but don’t be surprised when reality catches back up with you and brings you to your knees. Be a good person. You’ll get further in life.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

How to recognize your extraordinary Gifts and abilities

Brian Heat

gifts-and-abilities-300x330 a

As young children through comic books and movies very early in our lives we are introduced to the mysterious powers and abilities of superheroes and mutants. Most often appearing to be quite “normal” at first glance, below the surface something amazing was always hidden.

What’s interesting though, is that these same fantasy driven stories that continue to captivate us even today may not have been too far from the actual truth…

We Are Mutants

It has become one of my strongest convictions that when we spend focused time in our “gifting”…or areas of natural talent, we can through consistent practice, passion and overall development begin to resemble the traits of real life mutants.

This does not necessarily mean we will begin to grow fur and turn blue with an infatuation for colored tights, capes and flying through the clouds…but instead we can begin to create, perform and demonstrate feats of human ability that set us apart from the common man.

From explosive athletes that seem to defy the laws of gravity to computer programmers that possess the mathematical genius to build satellites that can determine the power and makeup of the sun…I believe mutants walk among us.

Those incredible dancers, charismatic speakers, masterful teachers to celebrated musicians and entertainers…what often draws us to them are the magical possibilities and experiences they create as a testament to what can happen when we put everything we are into the talents we possess.

Know now that every man, woman and child has something extraordinary given to them at birth to fulfill their purpose and expression in this world, but it must be discovered and nurtured to see its ultimate power come alive.

Begin to look at the unique talents, gifts and passions that stir your heart…for these unique attributes were not given to you by chance. They are but the gateway to so much more…

Shock the world with your true identity…and remove the disguise you’ve settled for.

Beautiful mutants, you know who you are…



Source: Addicted2Success



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Gabriel Olatunji Legend: How do you dream? What should you dream about?How to make your dream work? #iUncensored

Gabriel Olatunji Legend

Martin Luther King
"Dreams don’t make themselves happen, if they do, even beggars will be driving Rolls Royce.

There are certain principles to adhere to if you want your dreams to come to pass."

Martin Luther King Jr, one of America’s foremost civil rights leader had a dream that one day his two children (who are black) will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character. He had the dream at the time when racism was deep in the soul of the American society. This dream became a dream for every black man in America – the dream was spoken to millions of people and was written in every book, from private to public. Newspapers shared the dream and hope was birthed in people’s hearts. Every year this dream was celebrated even when Martin Luther was already dead and gone.

The President of the United States, Barrack Obama is a sign or should I say a part of the fulfillment of that dream. He became the first black man to become the president of the United States of America but this was a dream Martin Luther King Jnr had many years ago.

This is why I have decided to write a sequence to last week's #iUncensored titled, A little dream; A little vision; So shall your empire grow like that of Dangote and Oprah Winfrey. But I want us to take it from a different angle today.



How do you dream?

Stop wishing, start dreaming! Sit your ass down and determine what you want to do with your life. This type of question is what provokes the thought of great dreams. You cannot be asking, ‘what will I eat today’ and expect that the thought of purposeful living will come to you. Sit down, get a pen, a book (Dream Book), think and meditate; if you can pray (very crucial) and at the end of the day come up with two sentence that summarizes your existence. This sentence will tell what you should dedicate your life into. Until you can summarize your existence, you may never taste greatness in life.

Don’t live and die like everyone else, there is greatness in you.



What should you dream about?

No dreamer is too small, no dream is too big; anyone can achieve greatness if only they dare to have a good dream. Do not dream of what you will eat, dream of people you will feed – that is the beginning of greatness. It is time to re-evaluate the dreams of your heart. How many of them are centered on yourself? The day you help the Israelites cross the red sea, you will become their Moses and the day you provide free education for the South-West in Nigeria, you will become their Awolowo. The only way to dream is not to dream for yourself but for other people, it is in doing this that your own dreams will be achieved in life.



How to make your dream work?

Dreams don’t make themselves happen, if they do, even beggars will be driving Rolls Royce. There are certain principles to adhere to if you want your dreams to come to pass. I will be sharing this principles in the following weeks but let me leave you with this point.

If your dream must come to pass, you must WORK it. A dream is only a wish until you dissect it into responsibilities for each day. If you have a dream like that of Martin Luther King Jr. then you must be ready to tweet against oppression everyday, organize rallies every day, preach against injustice every day, sponsor bills at the national assembly that helps you achieve your dream and more importantly let your own life reflect your dream.

If you can break your dream down into a daily routine, then you have found your job and in it lies your greatness.



Gabriel Olatunji Legend is the CEO of OLATUNJISPEAKS PUBLISHING. He tweets from @OLATUNJISPEAKS





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This is how to know whether to walk away or keep pushing at it

Princess Obi

walk away

In my subconscious mind while lazing on my bed, this flick from a popular Nollywood movie, 'games men play', keep filling my thoughts. A scene where a young girl who dated this young guy for the past seven years and after six abortions got the shock of her life, that the guy eventually had to marry someone else because he got another pregnant. Funny as it might sound, a lot of people do not know when to walk away, to the girls in a relationship, to the guys in a business venture, it is really good to work hard, give your best shot in whatever you are doing but once in a while, look back and see if it’s worth it so far.



Like a farmer in his farm, you should know when your crops are yielding, when you are getting dividend for the sweats so far. Going back to my flick, imagine the pain, the embarrassment the poor girl would go through, if only she had known when to draw the line and put a stop to the melodrama.



There is nothing as painful as a fruitless journey, as a profit-less venture. Once in a while, it is pretty cool to walk away. Even brave men do run or putting it mildly walks away. It is far better to walk away than end up failing at a course you actually wasted all your years studying. I am actually not against hard work or putting your whole time in something you believe in, following up with what you think you can succeed at but a little rethink should let us know the true spate of things.



That it worked for others doesn't mean it would be the same for you. It is time to take a break, look back, state your profit and loss, state all you have achieved and know whether it is walking away or pushing at it but never be too scared to walk on and start afresh.



Princess Obi is a columnist with OLATUNJISPEAKS.com. Follow Princess Obi on Twitter: @adayaeze



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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How to have a happy relationship with your spouse #SINGLES&MARRIED

Subhadra Bhadauria

Single and Married

Be it any color, shape, size, but when you see the two holding hand in hand and promising eternal happiness to each other, you just know it’s just nothing but the perfect couple. This is how to have a happy relationship with your spouse;



Ensure a strong committed relationship: – In case you are not married but have strong feelings for your partner, then reveal your feelings and convince him/her. Make sure that you overcome the crazy infatuation and refill the void with rich and loving relation for its not always a bright sunny day, at times even dark clouds besiege, so assure that you make high efforts to save your loving relationship.

Spend time together: – The best redress to wounded relationship is spending quality time together. In case you have a ruined relationship, ensure that you spend more time together, take offs on the day, he/her has off and watch his/her favorite movie together. Go out for dinner or special lunch. Ensure you two spend most of the time together away from friends and near ones. Indulge in some mutual activity instead getting imperative with activities of your choice.

Discuss differences and settle them with a smile and hug: - When two come together in a relationship, differences are bound to come. One can’t be identical to any other personality. Each one has different persona and this should be ideally taken care while reconciling. Sit together and discuss the situations and circumstances which hurt you the most, talk to your partner about it.  Breaking the ice would make it even easier for both of you. Pick up the faults done and clear the air rather than heaping grudges and keeping chip on the shoulder.

Honesty: – Make things go thread bare before you partner, affirm honesty in your words. Let your partner know every important thing that she/he is supposed to know. Deceit and mistrust stay far away from these words as once the trust and respect is lost, it’s gone forever.

Respect emotions and beliefs:-


Don’t impose your beliefs on your partner. Let him/her be a free thinker as everyone has a right to do that. Respect each other’s emotions and sentiments.



Author Bio- Subhadra Bhadauria writes for famous match making site JeevanSaathi.com.  Understanding the human psychology well, she updates her readers on various articles, sharing views to accomplish happy marriage relationship.



Source: Single&Married



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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Don't leave your future to fate! Create the future NOW

Segun Peters

Create the future Now
” The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

This morning, a friend of mine made a joke of a certain fictitious man who wanted so bad to be the citizen of an affluent country. The man says, “they wouldn’t give me citizenship, so I bought the country”. Hilarious and quite unrealistic it may seem. But if there was a man with such character, there is a good point to take from him. We cannot give other people, or circumstances or fate the chance to decide our fortune. What if we do not like the outcome? Do you think you can always decide what your outcome will be? You will never know until you tried to put your power in the appropriate place.

Instead of give chance or fate the power to decide outcome for you, why don’t you reserve the power in the soul where it can fire up your inner ability to create something out of nothing? Ridiculous?! Men have been able to transmit voices through air at distances wide across the globe. Men have been able to appear in millions of places at one time through a device called television. Men have been able to lift objects heavier than air and flown in them. It was ridiculous to conceive such ideas before the inventions of these things. Is there any reason now to doubt or ridicule what more the creative ability of the mind can accomplish? Here are the true words of a great man, “whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe, the mind of a man will certainly achieve”, Napoleon Hill. Your creative ability has more potentials than you may ever know.

The power to will and become is what several men have thrown away carelessly in the hands of Providence. My friend, Providence is never any man’s ally. You will suffer greatly if you trust your life to Providence because the man with the weak-will, Providence browbeats and brings to extermination. Take that power and put it in its rightful place, in YOU. Let that power invigorate your creative ability to help you create the future you desire. Can you imagine what happens to a ship that has no rudder to steer it against the winds or tides? Its destination will be useless because it does not even have the power to steer it there. When the tides carries it hither and thither, it ends nowhere. Now imagine that life’s influence on you is like the influence of the tides or winds on the ship. So be the man that has found his rudder and not lost it to the sea. When indeed a man is the captain of his soul, he steers his destiny in the direction he wills it. He shall get somewhere.

Still on the illustration of the ship without a rudder, the captain of a ship needs a map to get to where he desires it to. The map points his present location to his destination. If he doesnt have the map, then the power of the rudder, (i.e. creative ability of the mind) is useless anyways. A man that does not have a vision of his destination is no better than he whose creative ability lies dormant. How will you ever get to a future that you do not see? In fact, you would not know the first step to take. So set yourself straight. Create a vision, have a plan and develop a burning desire for this future of yours. You are well on your way to creating your future.

Do you have problems? Give power to your creative ability and it shall bring to you solutions that is lightyears away from our time. Do you not see a path anymore? Trust this ability to carve out a way out of thin air. Do you think it is impossible? Believe in this power to stretch across the entire universe to unlock the mysteries that takes the ‘im’ out of impossibilties.

Inside you lies the power to will and become, to create and solve , to give life and to bring death. You are a god-form if you know how to harness the limitless potential of a positive mind. Know this, men who have this power rely on will, but men who don’t, wait on fate to decide their destiny.



Source: EagleVantage



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

'Ladies After Christ's Examples' (LACE) presents 2013 Grand FINALE,“LACE Purple Ball”



Gabriel Olatunji 'Legend'

flier6

LACE, acronym for “Ladies after Christ’s Example” is a Faith-based initiative for teenage girls centred on reviving, renewing and rejuvenating the spirit, mind and body of teenagers through informal gatherings/meetings/outings. The mission is to raise a generation of young women who would take their place as pace-setters in their generation, building girls who would be aware of their worth and essence, ultimately affecting our community and Nigeria as a whole.



LACE is at it again! This time with its grand finale for the year tagged "LACE Purple Ball" After a series of successful events during the year, the budding initiative for teenage girls is set to hold its biggest event so far.



This December, LACE would be holding its fifth impactful and fun event. The grand finale for the year 2013 tagged “LACE Purple Ball” will be hosted by Dansol High School, Ikeja.

This event aims at enlightening and entertaining about 300 girls through music, dance, drama and a mini fashion show as well as talk shows.

Speaking at the LACE Purple Ball this year are Titilola Tewe and Toyosi Akerele.  They will be speaking on "Becoming a 21st Century Esther". Live music performances by Toeyoursea, Cstas, Viva. Dance by Alien Nation and Drama by Global Impact Church drama group. Fashion show by various young designers. Dress code for the day is a touch of purple.

The organizers also intend to raise funds which will be used to procure gift items and Provisions for orphans at the Love Home Orphanage, Magodo, Lagos, Nigeria. The fundraising segment is to help LACE give back to the society and also encourage the teenage girls to give. The provisions will be taken to the orphanage the weekend after the event.

Somebody said, "it is better to build girls than repair women" - this is an apt definition of what LACE is doing with this young girls.

Tell your younger sister to tell her friends to tell their sisters to tell their friends not to miss the LACE Purple Ball this December!



For sponsorship, partnership or more information, please contact:



Simisola- 08035788231

OluFunto- 08032432924

Visit LACE blog – www.laceroyal.com or follow us on Twitter @LaceRoyals







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How not to fall in love with the same type of men over and over again(MUST READ)

Lara Kudayisi

love quotes

There was a time in my life that I felt men were all the same just because I went through the same pattern over and over again with different guys in a row. I mean we met, went on a couple of dates, he asked me out, I accepted and before you knew it, we got into a relationship and I would begin to hope for marriage; thinking I have met my prince charming. However in a matter of months, things would fall apart and before I could say Jack Robinson, a painful break-up. I would mourn that relationship for another 2-3 months, and then meet another cute guy, get fired up again and before I knew it, I would experience same pattern all over again and the result is another painful heart break experience.

At a point, I felt something was wrong with me spiritually; maybe my family’s witches have caught up with me and at another time, I concluded that all men are liars, in fact they are dogs. It was so easy to reach the latter especially when my other girlfriends seemed to share my point of view. Until I sat down one day to analyze the problem and found out that I kept dating the same set of guys. This was such a huge shock to me and I decided to break this deadly pattern in my life. Of course I did and I also want to help someone do the same.

1)Quit looking in the wrong places: I went to different places in search of Mr. Right. I went to clubs; put my number and details on the radio. The problem with this was, I wanted a guy who doesn’t drink, smoke or womanize yet I dated people I met in a club thinking they would change with time and of course they never did. Ironically, many guys will never want to marry a girl from the club, they just want to have fun and move on. Also, the ones I met on the radio were not any different. They were fun seekers and want no serious commitment and even if they were serious, I ended up not being their type because we met on the radio. I expected a fantasy which I never got, and always cry wolf anytime they break up with me.

2)Stop looking for the wrong things: I had a specification of what I was looking for; I guess we all do. Then, mine was a tall dark handsome (TDH) dude with a good job and a car. Since I had a bank job and a car, I felt the guy must also have a car because I couldn’t be driving my boyfriend around town. This was a very shallow thinking because most of them were not even ready for what I wanted. It was either they were already engaged or they were looking for finer and tusher chicks than me. Until, you stop basing your life-long decision on looks and material things, you will still keep following that same pattern.

3)Do not date an unavailable person: Some people fall in love with someone who is already in a relationship with another. Some love men and women who are married and are glad to be the second fiddle because they claim love is blind! Love my dear, is never blind! Like some people will say, if love is blind, marriage will open your eyes. Irrespective of the current benefits, don’t ever date someone who is attached to another, this reduces your self-worth. You can be that person’s friend but don’t wait around; you might end up waiting forever. Whenever you get attracted to a person who is in a relationship, try to kill the attraction and move on with your life. If at some point, he/she is unattached and fate brings you together again, then you can be a couple.

4)Do not be desperate: Girls aren’t the only desperate ones, I know some desperate guys too. I like this saying that says ‘don’t shop for food when you are hungry’. When you are desperate to be married, you date anyone without thoroughly checking through and then you get dumped all over again. Age should not be the reason why you date just anyone because age will not be able to keep you together when things go wrong. Do not let society push you into what would be a lasting sorrow. If you are late already, then you should also be sure to get it right.

5)Learn from your break up: After you break up, stop hating and learn the lesson. Many people break up and don’t learn any lessons from it because they spend their whole time blaming and hating the other person; thereby falling into the next trap. After a break up, you should sit down and analyze what went wrong. You can forget what hurt you in the past but never forget what it teaches you.

From a heart yearning to help, I dare to say that it’s time to break the pattern. No one does the same thing in the same way over and over again and expects to get a different result. BREAK THAT LOVE PATTERN!!!



Source: ShatteredGlassNG



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How to Eliminate Habits Holding You Back From Success

Jason W. Womack

eliminate habits

Humans love routine. When it comes to achieving measurable goals, this means we tend to do what we’ve always done, how we’ve always done it, in the same order as always.

This also goes for our habits when working in teams. You’ve probably been working with your team long enough to feel like you know what to expect from them. You’ve developed habitual patterns in the way you interact together. And probably, the feeling is mutual. Maybe it’s time to shake up those impressions.

To be a better manager, it's important to take risks and introduce needed improvements. This often means identifying what’s working and what needs improvement. Sometimes discovering those specifics is as simple as asking three questions:

  1. What habits have gotten you where you are today?

  2. What habits may be holding you  back from reaching your next desired accomplishments?

  3. Is it time to ask for feedback?

Taking a close look at your habits provides wonderful insight into what has worked so far. It allows you to make conscious changes. My friend and mentor, Marshall Goldsmith, wrote a book whose title says it all: What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. What habits are you currently using that might be keeping you from reaching your next level of accomplishments?

Here are a  few places to start: Do you start meetings on time? Do you listen to comments fully without interrupting? Do you ask clarifying questions? Do you look at the person talking or keep your eyes on your digital device? Do you offer acknowledgement for a job well done or for new ideas? What habits have you gotten into that serve you well? What habits need to be changed to help you move forward?

Next, ask yourself what you’re doing that is getting in the way of achieving your goals. I know an entrepreneur who recently realized he was using the first hour of his day to try and catch up on email and touch all his social media profiles. As a five-day experiment one week, he focused that hour in the morning only on reaching out to new vendors to support his business. This one simple change allowed him to move his launch date up by three full weeks.

One way to discover what is and isn't working well when it comes to your habits is to ask for feedback from those around you. Asking for feedback won't signal that something is wrong. Rather, it shows you are open to new ideas and approaches.

Asking for feedback can also fast-track your efforts. Feedback can maximize your focus, energy and time so that you get more of the right things done. Time and again, I’ve seen how entrepreneurs who were doing fairly well managed to super-size their productivity and get even more out of their day and efforts simply by being receptive to a bit of feedback.

To know if your habits are working or not, clearly define the results you want. When you fully understand what you want to accomplish, you can reflect on how your actions over the past few hours, days or weeks can get you closer to your goal.



Source: Entrepreneur



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Saturday, November 23, 2013

How to express love to your spouse

Lori Byerly

eat_together1

One of the critical things to develop in a marriage is a sense of emotional safety and security in the relationship. A good way of doing this is by frequently expressing love in tangible ways. Here are some suggestions.


  • Touch them - prefer your spouse, sit next to them, hold hands, hug, touch them as you walk by, make love, snuggle, take a bath together or take dance lessons.  Do anything that requires a certain amount of touch.


  • Spend time with them - find common interests, make dates, travel together, minister together, pray and study together, shop together or go for walks.


  • Talk to them - say something nice or kind, make a point of sharing your day, learn something new every day and share it, compliment them, read to each other, verbally encourage them in pursuing their dreams and say "I love you" a lot.


  • Do something for them - polish their shoes, pick up after the children (even if it's not your job) or change a diaper.  Look for something practical to do that will bless your spouse.


  • Give them something special - it might be something practical that they need or something foolish and romantic - a book, a handful of flowers, a mushy note or card (or a silly one, or a sexy one). Paul bought me a grease screen on our 1-month anniversary and I loved him for it! (yes, I'm the practical one)

As an aside, you might listen carefully to your spouse. Listen to what they ask for. Listen to what impresses them about others. This will give you a clue as to what they want and need in terms of loving expressions.



Source: MarriageBed



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How To Become Rich Online – Internet Entrepreneurs Share Their Advice(Free Video)

OS Editor

internet entrepreneur

This is a great little video of Internet Entrepreneurs who have become successful though their online businesses and websites.

Computers are a great tool to reach millions upon millions all from your own home computer.

Watch this video to find out how you to can benefit from dabbling in the online world just like the legends Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates.

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9 Ways You Can Make Money Online With Photography

Joel Brown Photography Photography is one of the most interesting pastimes you can get into, but it’s also a very interesting profession. Can you make money from photography? The answer is a big fat YES! No matter the skill level, there are multiple ways in which you can make money from photography as a career, or for even a bit of extra income to compliment that of your main career.

How To Make Money



1) Selling products online


This might sound like cheating, since the main skill is finding the objects at a low price and then selling them on at a profit. But a large part of being able to sell at a profit is presentation. Good photographs sell products. If this wasn’t the case, every advert in a magazine would be a fuzzy shot taken on a cell phone. You can also make money online by setting up a website offering to take pictures of other people’s items. Taking pictures of items and presenting them in a way that’s likely to make them sell is a real skill. As well as learning how to take good close-up photos from appealing angles, you will also learn the use of different equipment (lighting tents, lights etc.) and how to edit photographs on computer software to make them look their very best.

2) Graphic design


Whether you are designing website aesthetics or a brochure for a company, much of this design needs high quality photographs. You will also have to be competent in photo editing software as well as being able to use photographed images in conjunction with vector graphics software.

3) Selling prints


If you have an eye for a fantastic photograph, why not see if you can sell them? It may be that you are better at photography than you might think, and many people would love to have your pictures hanging on their wall. The prints can be unique and sold for a high price, or they can be several prints of the same photographs. Your subject matter is entirely up to you, and you can really let your imagination run wild.

4) Selling photographs to news websites and blogs


If you keep up with the latest news, you can have a good idea what is topical and what will sell. Some of this is down to being in the right place at the right time, but often these websites use generic images that match the subject matter at hand. It has been well known for years that certain media will pay for a photograph of certain events and celebrities, but increasingly blogs are starting to require their own unique photographs as they aim to be taken more seriously as a media form. If you can take a topical photograph, or a picture of someone famous, you may be able to sell it to a blog. In the past, these blogs often used images they found on search engines, which may have caused rights infringement; by offering them a unique photo you may be saving them a headache.

5) Photo editing


You may not think that this is strictly photography, but it takes a photographers eye to be able to do it well. There are many freelance websites where this skill is increasingly sought after, and it can pay very well. It can be a very lucrative way to make money online. You will need to have a good knowledge of what makes a good photo, as well as being able to use software such as; Adobe Photoshop or GIMP.

6) Wedding photography


This can pay very well. Setting up a website can be very simple to do. To gain a portfolio, you may need to either accompany an already established wedding photographer or offer to take photographs for free.

7) Portrait photography


This is a good way to earn money, and it allows you to be a little more inventive than wedding photography will. You can really play with angles and colors to get the best out of your subjects. As with wedding photogrphy, when setting up your website portfolio, you may need to take photographs for free until you are established.

8) Greeting cards


Greeting cards, as with prints, can allow you to sell the same photograph multiple times. If you get a great shot, it can be a best seller for many years to come. There are multiple opportunities to sell photographs in this way, due to the sheer amount of annual events that can be covered worldwide.

9) T-shirts


Many people will pay money for a T-shirt featuring something they love. If you are taking photographs of a sports star or another kind of celebrity, be careful that you do not infringe image rights. You can really have fun with your photographs on T-shirts, they can be as serious or as funny as you like. You can also use graphics design along with the photographs to create something really unique, and sell something which will consistently make money online.



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Guaranteed tips to grow your business #OSLifeline

Chinedum Azuh

Business-Growth

Every small business wants to grow into a big one someday. Eventually you want your small business to grow into a big business, right? If that's true, then learn which big-business growth strategies might work for you.

Consider these 4 key growth strategies.

Market Segmentation
“Market segmentation” simply means picking a sub-set of the entire marketplace that you can organize your sales efforts around. Out of all the people in the world, who will you try to sell to?

Most big businesses are good at carving out their corner of the market. Then they do whatever they can to own that space.

Pepsi was losing its battle with Coca-Cola to become the heavyweight cola company. Instead of trying to beat Coke at its own game, Pepsi focused on a young, fun-loving demographic. Many Pepsi commercials show younger music stars, celebrities or other young status symbols.

Segmenting your market comes down to making choices. Who will you serve? Who will you avoid? And which segment can you focus on to improve profitability?

Use Checklists
Big businesses have massive facilities, complex supply chains and large equipment. Managing the day-to-day operations in these environments is too complex for one person. There are too many variables to track.

Guess what? Small businesses are the same way. Small business owners have to wear many hats. If you don't hold yourself accountable and remind yourself to do something that "brings home the cash," then it's easy to get caught up doing things that aren't essential. In the rush of a normal day, it's also easy to forget to do a critical task.

Take a page from big business and develop process lists or checklists for specific tasks and jobs. Give yourself a guide to success and a reminder to do the essentials each day.

Acquisitions
Perhaps the primary way that most big businesses grow is through acquisitions. Before you think I'm moving beyond by suggesting this move for small businesses, let me explain.

First, acquisitions are tough. You can easily break the bank with one bad purchase. That said, acquisitions can be a massive source of profit and a means to growth if you make a few key moves.

You know what a good buy in your industry is. Don't let emotions or ego play a role in a major purchase. Stick to the checklist.

Become An Industry Leader
Big businesses often make their name by leading an industry. They make moves when other businesses sit by the wayside.

I was recently talking with the Executives of a large distribution company that wants to do business in Ghana. There's just one problem: The distribution company ships products for other companies and those businesses don't trust the distribution channels in Ghana yet. As a result, the distribution company isn't selling in that region.

If there are no products to ship to an area, the company doesn't set up distribution in that area. But if there’s no reliable distribution network, nobody ships products.

It becomes a chicken or egg problem where neither side wants to move first.
An industry leader is willing to surmount every problem and move into unchartered waters.

Work with these principles and your success in business will be inevitable.
Take Action Today!



Source: SuccessDigest



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Friday, November 22, 2013

10 Successful African Entrepreneurs To Follow On Twitter

by Mfonobong Nsehe

Chris Kirubi

Only a tiny handful of Africa’s most successful entrepreneurs and business leaders have embraced Twitter, using the micro blogging platform to share business advice, personal experiences, news updates, opinions and lunch pictures; but mostly words of wisdom.

These 10 Tweeters are all highly accomplished African entrepreneurs. Follow them, retweet them, and learn from their wisdom.



Strive Masiyiwa

Twitter handle: @StriveMasiyiwa

Strive Masiyiwa is the founder of Econet Wireless, a leading mobile telecommunications service provider in Africa. Masiyiwa is also a co-founder of the Carbon War Room, which accelerates the adoption of business solutions that reduce carbon emissions at gigaton scale and advance the low-carbon economy. Masiyiwa ranked 32nd on the latest FORBES list of the 50 Richest Africans with a fortune estimated at $600 million. Masiyiwa tweets a lot about how to attain success in business and in life. He also tweets about the importance of ethics in business.

Tony Elumelu

Twitter handle: @TonyOElumelu

The Africapitalist. Elumelu acquired a floundering Nigerian commercial bank and transformed it into UBA Group, a large Pan-African financial services behemoth spanning 20 African countries. Through his Tony Elumelu Foundation, he grooms Africa’s next generation of business leaders. Among other things, Elumelu muses on Twitter about Africa’s infrastructural challenges and his plans to fix them. He also shares news stories relating to African business, suggests books to read on investment and development and once in a while delivers tips on how to succeed in business and in life.

Ashish J. Thakkar

Twitter handle: @AshishJThakkar

The 32 year-old Ugandan-born entrepreneur is the founder of Mara Group, a Pan-African conglomerate with interests in internet, telecom and communications, property, manufacturing and finance. Thakkar regularly tweets links to Africa-focused news articles.

Vimal Shah

Twitter handle: @VimalAfrica

Vimal Shah of Kenya is CEO of Bidco Oil Refineries, the largest manufacturer of edible oils in the East African region. He shares with his father and brother a fortune that Forbes pegs at $1.6 billion. Shah tweets a lot of inspirational quotes from successful philosophers, thinkers and business leaders.

Chris Kirubi

Twiter handle: @CKirubi

Kirubi is the founder of Tiger Haco Industries, Kenya’s leading producer of fast moving consumer goods. He also co-owns  is the largest controlling shareholder in private equity firm Centum. He takes to Twitter to share important Kenyan news, success and life lessons with Kenya’s young folk and muse about socio-political affairs in the country.

Reginald Mengi

Twitter handle: @regmengi

Mengi is the founder of IPP Group, Tanzania’s largest media conglomerate. He tweets mostly in Swahili, commenting on issues of socio-political relevance in Tanzania and condemning corruption, which apparently is on the rise in the East African country.

Kola Aluko

Twitter handle: @KolaAluko

Aluko is a cofounder of Atlantic Energy, a Nigerian oil exploration company. He is also a cofounder of the Made In Africa Foundation, which raises funds for infrastructure investments in Africa. He shares news articles and opinion pieces relating to African infrastructure.

Mohammed Dewji

Twitter handle: @moodewji

Dewji is the CEO of Tanzania’s METL, a leading conglomerate with interests in manufacturing and distribution. He takes to Twitter to tweet business success quotes, links to stories about African business and comments about Tanzania’s economy and politics.

Njeri Rionge

Twitter handle:  @njeririonge

Njeri Rionge is one of Kenya’s most successful businesswomen. She is a cofounder of Wananchi Group, an Internet service provider which has gone on to become East Africa’s leading cable, broadband and IP (Internet-based) Phone Company. She tweets a lot about Christian spirituality and management success.

Heshan de Silva  

Twitter handle:  @HeshdeSilva

The 25 year-old Kenyan venture capitalist is the founder of DSGVenCap, a firm that makes seed investments in the tech, media, agribusiness, consumer and hospitality industries. Heshan shares business success tips and personal advice, mostly geared towards Kenya’s young folk.



Source: Forbes



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Thursday, November 21, 2013

A Young Mans Daring Journey To Become A Millionaire

by Joel

Millionaire25

A 24 year old young and aspiring entrepreneur, “Corey Wadden” from Toronto, Ontario has a very daring and inspiring objective; to make one million dollars within a two-year period, in order to allow his mother to retire comfortably. That might sound like a lofty ambition, but he is already well on his way. In order to raise funds needed for the production costs of his personal documentary, “Millionaire By 25“, Corey managed to organize interviews with major radio stations, high performing entrepreneurs, started a number of developing businesses and has also launched a crowdfunding campaign to keep the engine running for the filming of his inspirational documentary.

Here’s is Corey’s story


On Corey Wadden’s 23rd birthday back in 2011, he set a personal goal to be able to raise enough money to allow his mom to retire within the next two years. When he was only six years old, his parents split up, leaving his mom to raise his brother and himself alone. During those years, they teetered below the poverty line as his mom worked hard and continuously struggled to make ends meet. As most kids his age were heading off to college, Corey stayed behind because he felt too guilty to go off to school and leave his mom in her current situation. Instead of attending college, Corey spent the next six years working, doing jobs such as door-to-door sales and serving, among others, to try to help his mom through her difficult financial situation. Although these jobs enabled Corey to help his mom out financially, it was necessary for him to keep on working endlessly just to keep the money coming in. Then, when Corey was 23, his mom was at risk of losing her own job which would create total financial disaster. There was no way that Corey could work any more than he already was at this point. This was enough motivation to push him to the brink of setting the goal of giving himself two more years to get his mom into a position where she was able to retire. Corey decided to film this whole process, eventually turning his journey into a documentary. Seventeen months after starting, Corey has accomplished some pretty amazing things during this time period. For starters, he won a contest to be trained by New York Times best selling author, Tim Ferriss. This training and his mentorship would help Corey to validate his business idea and pointed him in the right direction toward fulfilling his goal. Corey even obtained interviews with hard to contact people such as Neil Strauss, Robert Greene, , Chad Mureta, Ryan Holiday, Farrah Gray, Shia Lebeouf and others who gave him sound business advice, traveling all across the country to do so, sometimes having to resort to sleeping in his car along the way. But the good news is that all of this hard work has paid off, because Corey has now launched three businesses as well as having gained an online following of 50,000 people, earning nearly $100,000 in the process! With these funds, Corey plans to buy a house for his mom, get her a new car, and send her anywhere she chooses to travel in the world as a Christmas present, as she has never had the opportunity to travel before because of her financial situation. The concept of being able to do this for his mom, and for inspiring others to do the same thing in their own lives was the driving force behind Corey’s motivation to keep going. Up until a certain point, his documentary had been solely self funded, including all aspects of the pre-production phase, the shooting, and all of the traveling expenses. However, it was getting to the point where he could not afford to continue like this anymore, while at the same time reaching his goal within the given timeframe. This was a result of the fact that all of the money Corey had earned was having to be reinvested in the business in order for it to grow and make more money. Not only was it of great personal importance to Corey and his mother that he achieve this goal, he believed his success would inspire other young people to set life changing goals, as well as learn how to accomplish them. After all of the time, work, and money that Corey had invested in this project so far, he was not about to give up after obtaining the fair amount of success that he had already achieved. At the time when Corey had only six months left to accomplish his mission and was still a ways away from achieving his set goal amount, he decided to take action.

Millionaire-By-25

Corey’s Focus On This Documentary


1) How to set a huge goal and pursue it.

2) How to contact hard to reach individuals and possibly obtain mentorship with them ( Such as he had done with Tim Ferriss, Robert Greene, Neil Strauss, Chad Mureta, Ryan Holiday, Shia Lebeouf, and others.).

3) How to start an app business and turn it into a six figure venture.

4) How to begin an e-book business and earn a six figure income from it.

5) How to use youth to your advantage when striving for success.   Corey not only believes in this project for personal reasons, such as his ultimate goal, but he also believes that his story can be an inspiration to other young people that will encourage them and motivate them to set their own personal financial goals and to do what it takes to achieve them.

Corey so far has proven to us all that age is nothing but a number and that all the resources are already out there to connect, raise money and create something of value. This is the inspirational and motivational story of one young man’s daring journey to become a millionaire.





Source: Addicted2Success



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A little dream; A little vision; So shall your empire grow like that of Dangote and Oprah Winfrey #iUncensored

Gabriel Olatunji 'Legend'

OprahDangote

The day you can conceive a greater dream than Dangote’s empire, is the day you gain the capacity to dislodge Dangote as the richest man in Africa. The day you can dream bigger than Mrs Folorunsho Alakija, is the day you gain the capacity to dislodge her as the richest black woman in the world. And the day you can conceive a greater dream than that of Oprah Winfrey, is the day you can override her as the most influential black woman in the world. The world responds to men and women who can dream, and by that I don’t mean those who can sleep.

To have a great empire, dream of serving people – they will pay you for it! Service is the key to greatness. It is time for you to stop having selfish dreams of cars, houses, jets and so on. Have a dream that will make you leave a footprint on the sands of time.

To live without a dream is to merely exist; and to live with a dream, is to live for impact. This is not to say that you only need a dream and nothing else, but DREAMING is the starting point. If you miss it here, you have missed it for life. Get off your butt and dream again – it is not too late!



Age has nothing to do with it

Your age is not a factor in this equation and if you will read the next lines I will prove that to you. We shared the story of the 7 years old boy that inspired many by starting a restaurant business (you can read the story HERE). ‘McDonald’ was just a shop across the street until a certain Ray Kroc had a bigger dream and joined forces with the owner. Together, they worked for six years and created a ‘McDonald’ brand before Ray Kroc finally bought them out of the business. He was 52 years old when he started this dream. Even Jesus Christ in the bible already had a dream at the age of 12. So do not tell me you are too young or too old to dream – you are just at the perfect time when you should dream.

Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook dreamt in his twenties; he created Facebook and that invention has over 1.15 billion users as of March 2013 – that number is almost 20% of the population of the whole world, which is 7.046 billion as at 2012.

Have a dream that over 1 billion people will be interested in and you will never need to think of food again for the rest of your life. You will automatically be listed among the greats!



Don’t Dream for ‘I’, dream for ‘We’

The difference between a man who only exists to make a living and the one living to make an impact is the capacity to dream for more than oneself. Do you know that Twitter could have been an invention just for one family? But if they had done that, Twitter will not be worth the 30 billion dollars it is worth today (that is just ten million short of Ghana’s GDP as at 2012). What that means is that when you have a dream for ‘we’ and not ‘I’, you can become as valuable as a whole country.



How far can your eyes see?

The farther you see is the farther you go. Even as a young boy, Nelson Mandela sat behind a Baptist church and he said to himself, “one day I will be the president of this people”. He was a young boy when he said that to himself. What happened to him in prison should have killed him but his dream kept him alive. After spending 24 years of his life in prison, the dream of that little boy behind a Baptist church came alive. If you only see for today, you will only achieve for today. If you only dream of buying a car you will never manufacture a car. If you only dream of cooking for your family you will never own a chain of restaurants.

Dreams make you a signature

The next time you are about to branch into a Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) outlet, observe the signage again and you will notice the picture of a man. The man in the picture had the dream of KFC, he is no longer living but we still see his face everywhere we turn. His dream has made him a signature such that when you see his face you think of KFC. This is a law of life, you cannot have a passionate and purposeful dream and end up at the backend of life – Your name and face will never be forgotten. Dream again!



How do you dream? What should you dream about? How to make your dream work? And many more…



…To be continued next Wednesday on this same site.



This is the first from the new Wednesday series tagged #UNCENSORED (It’s Inspiration Uncensored) which will be written by Gabriel Olatunji ‘Legend’. He continues to write #MondayInspiration on Mondays. If you have not read any of his Monday Inspiration before, you can read one HERE.



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Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Don Moen, Cece Winans, Donnie McClurkin,others for The Experience 2013+ Win branded T-shirts #OSPromote

OS Editor

Timi-Dakolo-Experience

Organized by The House on the Rock Church, Nigeria’s biggest interdenominational Gospel Concert, The Experience Lagos, will come alive again this year on December 6 at the Tafawa Balewa Square in Lagos with the theme: ‘Heaven on Earth’.

Convened by Pastor Paul Adefarasin, This year’s event will feature some of the best-known music talents of our time. The mega-event, which debuted in December 2006 with over 70,000 in attendance has become the largest musical concert in Africa with over 500,000 worshippers.

Tye Tribbet

Speaking on the 2013 edition, the Pastor of House On The Rock Church, Pastor Paul Adefarasin stated that The Experience, which was simply an opportunity for Nigerians to put aside all differences such as tribe, class, denomination and creed at inception, has now become an annual event of all night prayer and worship.

“At its inception, The Experience was simply an opportunity for Nigerians to put aside tribe, tongue, class, and creed; multitude of people coming together and lifting one voice in worship to God. The event is seen as a bridge of reconciliation, and a beacon of light and hope to the much afflicted and often maligned continent of Africa. The Experience is being attended by Federal and State dignitaries, Captains of Industry and your regular man or woman next door, a true representation of a cross section of Nigeria’s eclectic community.”

Experience-8

What you need to do:

Visit our website www.theexperiencelagos .com to register, network and do much more!

To be a winner of our branded T-shirts, simply like us on our Facebook page www.facebook.com/theexperiencelagos and follow us on Twitter @theexperiencelg to participate.

For those who would like to be ushers at The Experience Lagos event, kindly log on to our website http://theexperiencelagos.com and click on Usher Registration 2013 to complete your registration.

The only place you want to be on the 6th of Dec 2013 is at the Tafawa Balewa Square (TBS) by 7pm for #TheExperienceLagos.

Let’s join the host of heaven and other great ministers of God like Sammie Okposo, Freke Umoh, Frank Edwards, Eben, Donnie McClurklin, Glowreeyah Braimah, Tye Tribbett, Yolanda Adams, Don Moen, Midnight Crew and others as we bring down the glory of God through praises



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10 High performance success habits

Justin Sua

Bill-Cosby-Picture-Quotes

The secrets of great people is rooted in their daily routine. You can’t expect to get the results high performers do, if you don’t adopt the habits high performers have. When you look at the successful people of the world, don’t neglect to consider the hours of work, the multiple failures, and the daily sacrifices they made to get there. If you are serious about taking your performance to the next level you’ve got to leave the ways of mediocrity behind to develop a new and improved you.

Here are 10 high performance habits that may require you to go against the grain but will aid you in reaching success like the pros:

1. Win the Morning


While the world sleeps, the high performer works. Could you imagine if you woke up on purpose, with purpose every day? How can you expect to achieve excellence when the first decision you make on a daily basis is to procrastinate the day by hitting the snooze button?

Win the morning by waking up earlier than you normally do to get a workout in, feed your mind with good books, and fuel your body with a good breakfast—all before the rest of the world is deciding whether to get up or not. Win the morning.

2. Do Hard Things


We are surrounded by people who want the fastest and easiest path to success, but not you—not anymore. Rather than run from the challenge that is keeping you from doing what you want, stare it in the face; learn about it; and embrace it.
“The road to greatness is easy”, said “no one ever”.

Doing hard things will teach you lessons you wouldn’t learn otherwise, and will make you stronger than you thought possible.

You can do hard things.

3. Embrace feedback


The average person hates to be told what they are doing wrong or what they can do better. Learning to accept feedback is not easy, but once you decide to seek it out and act on ways you can improve, you will dramatically improve your progress.

Embracing feedback doesn’t mean to do what everyone tells you; identify key mentors or coaches who are great at what they do and more importantly, who care about your future, then allow them to take you places you wouldn’t have gone otherwise.

4. Learn from Failure


No one likes to fail, lose, or mess up; but high performers use adversity to learn lessons, and refuse to allow them to disable them emotionally. When you fail, identify what you did well, what you can do better, and what you are going to do about it right now.

5. Choose your attitude


One of the most important decisions you make every day is the attitude you are going to have when you walk out your door. Don’t take your attitude for granted or it will get the best of you.

6. Do one more


As an athlete, you can do 10 reps in the weight room, or you can do 11.  As a sales rep you can choose to make 15 calls or choose to do 16. One of the best ways to build mental strength is to do something you might not want to do, but you know will help you.

Do one more—because the average person won’t.

7. Have a purpose


The clearer you can see your target, the more likely you are to hit it. High performers don’t do things “just because”, as mentioned earlier, they do things on purpose, with purpose. When you know why you do what you do, you’ll have more power to do it.

8. Recommit every single day


One reason the average person doesn’t achieve their goals is because life catches up to them and they allow the things that they have to do blind them from the things they want to do. Every day, recommit to the things that matter most.

You empower yourself when your priorities are in line.

9. Be patient


Success is made in a slow-cooker, not a microwave. High performers understand that overnight success comes after years of hard work. Be patient with yourself, keep your eyes on the prize and focus on the process, the results will take care of themselves.

10. Fear no one


Refuse to allow people to intimidate you. You don’t need anyone’s permission to do something great. Putting others on a pedestal because of their talent, experience, and or accolades makes you susceptible to beating up on yourself because you feel that you’re not as good as they are. Anyone can be beat, including you; so respect your competition but refuse to fear them—who knows, they may fear you.



Source: Addicted2Success



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

WATCH FREE VIDEO! How english language is hindering our progress? Olakunle Soriyan on Teju Babyface show!

What you are about to watch has the capacity to change your mindset radically. This thought is deep and based on research by one of Nigeria's finest life coach, Mr Olakunle Soriyan.

The fact that you cannot speak english language correctly should not hinder your progress in life but it is hindering our progress in Nigeria; here is the solution. WATCH

Every Nigerian should watch it. Absolutely amazing mindset from a Nigerian Life coach!

WATCH VIDEO BELOW




Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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How to make good decisions all the time

Laura Leigh Clarke

Good decisions

Decisions can be really tough.

They can change the course of a career, of a life, forever. The thing is, when you’re faced with making a decision, you often only have a limited amount of information and a limited field of experience to draw upon. But the consequences of your decision are huge. They could potentially be really good…or really, really bad!

There’s no reference book where you can just look up the correct decision you need to make and discover what the best course of action is. There are hundreds of variables. Each variable must be weighed differently, and each one comes with a tangle of emotions and worries attached to it.

Making good decisions is one of the hardest but most important things we do as human beings. In fact, anything that happens down the line can be seen as a direct consequence of earlier decisions. Learning to make good ones and having an effective methodology is vital.

The reason that decisions can be so tricky is because we get caught up in trying to make an evaluation by thinking about it, but all the while each thought is a tangled mess of emotion as well.

You know what I’m talking about, right?

How to Make Better Decisions: Take Out The Trash


Remember the old wire scourer your mother used to use to scrub the pans after cooking a roast? Perhaps you recall how tangled the wire of that scourer would become after a few uses. Then you probably remember how difficult it was to wash it out as well. No matter how much you rinsed it you could still find pieces of debris and grease trapped in amongst the layers of wire. This is exactly how it is with your thoughts and feelings when you are trying to make a decision. Your thoughts are like the wire, and the emotions are like the discarded food that gets caught up in the wires. As you start eliminating the mind trash and dropping the thoughts around the issue, everything gets untangled.

Imagine the wires are akin to your thoughts. Taking out just one wire at a time reduces the messy knot of wires. Bit by bit it becomes easier and easier to take out individual wires, and the corresponding emotions or sensations that go along with them.

Once you’ve reduced the mass of wire and debris, your thinking becomes much clearer. You start to see the forest and the trees.

You gain a balanced perspective and we find that instead of running the same thought patterns and worries again and again, the anxieties give way to more creative ideas about how you can tackle the problem and give yourself better alternatives than the options you originally thought you had. All this is a result of pulling out the individual thoughts, and allowing your mind to get really quiet. It means dropping the thinking and letting go of trying to hold every consideration in mind.
“The key to good decision making is being able to drop the thoughts that are keeping your brain so busy.”

How To Drop The Mind Trash


In the beginning this is easier said than done. In fact, if you’re reading this and thinking, “How on earth do I just drop thoughts, I can’t help what I’m thinking!”, then that’s OK. There is a process that can help you…

  1. Let’s imagine you have a decision to make. It could be important, it could be charged with emotion, or it could be really simple and you’ve pretty much already decided which way you’re going to go. Pick something to use as an example as you read this.

  2. Now, as you think of that decision, you probably have lots of thoughts around each possible course of action. Let’s assume for simplicity that there are two possible things you could do. You may want to jot these two options down on a piece of paper.

  3. For each option there are going to be advantages and disadvantages. So beneath those two options, start two columns labeled positive and negative.

  4. Now empty out every thought you have around each of those points – paying attention to, and allocating to a column, every single thought that comes up. If you have a thought that doesn’t easily fit into one of the four columns, then you can jot this down elsewhere on the piece of paper.

  5. Now go through each column, completely emptying out every thought you can possibly come up with. Once you’ve got them out of your head and on to paper, you are then free to make a decision without trying to hold everything in mind.

Advanced:

If this is resonating with you, you can take this one step further. For each thought you put onto the page, see if you can pay attention to any sensation you get in your body and then observe it until it leaves. You’ll be surprised at how suddenly you can’t even remember what that original thought was!

Don’t worry: you won’t forget anything that it is important to remember. Your brain will allow you to let go of the thoughts, live in the moment and still function effectively without having to hold everything in your mind the whole time.

Once you get to this stage, you’ll be completely free of the mind trash and the emotional charge around your decision. You’ll be able to make a decision from a place of balance and complete freedom.

How To Test Drive Your New Skills


You’ve got the method. Now to test it out and make it second nature before you need to use it on something that puts you into a tailspin.

It’s like learning to drive. If you know how to pull out of a skid during a test drive, then when the time comes that you need to do it for real, you don’t have to remember the mechanics of it, you just do it.

It’s the same thing with this letting-go technique. If you practice it and get used to it, you will find it all the more powerful when you have a real situation where it will be helpful.

So over to you now: pick a decision, even if it’s not that big a deal right now, even if you think you’ve got it under control for the time being, and test the method out. Remember: write down each option, draw up your positive and negative columns, start filling them out and then feel the sensation associated with each thought until it leaves.

Leave me a comment and share what decision you’re going to test it out on!

And as always – I’m here to help if you need clarification, or if you get stuck…



Source: Lifehack



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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13 things you should not do if you want to be mentally strong

Amy Morin

13-Things-Mentally-Strong-People-Dont-Do

1.    Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3.    Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear”, if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?



Source: LifeHack



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of OLATUNJISPEAKS.com.

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