One of the critical things to develop in a marriage is a sense of emotional safety and security in the relationship. A good way of doing this is by frequently expressing love in tangible ways. Here are some suggestions.
- Touch them - prefer your spouse, sit next to them, hold hands, hug, touch them as you walk by, make love, snuggle, take a bath together or take dance lessons. Do anything that requires a certain amount of touch.
- Spend time with them - find common interests, make dates, travel together, minister together, pray and study together, shop together or go for walks.
- Talk to them - say something nice or kind, make a point of sharing your day, learn something new every day and share it, compliment them, read to each other, verbally encourage them in pursuing their dreams and say "I love you" a lot.
- Do something for them - polish their shoes, pick up after the children (even if it's not your job) or change a diaper. Look for something practical to do that will bless your spouse.
- Give them something special - it might be something practical that they need or something foolish and romantic - a book, a handful of flowers, a mushy note or card (or a silly one, or a sexy one). Paul bought me a grease screen on our 1-month anniversary and I loved him for it! (yes, I'm the practical one)
As an aside, you might listen carefully to your spouse. Listen to what they ask for. Listen to what impresses them about others. This will give you a clue as to what they want and need in terms of loving expressions.
If I ... do not have love,
I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal
I am nothing ... it profits me nothing ...1 Cor. 13:1-2
Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked, does not take
into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth; bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. Love never fails.1 Cor. 13:4-8a
I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal
I am nothing ... it profits me nothing ...1 Cor. 13:1-2
Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked, does not take
into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth; bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. Love never fails.1 Cor. 13:4-8a
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