I had an interesting conversation with one of my closest female friends few days back and this opened my eyes to issues I think many ladies need to address. These issues are what even our men can learn from...
My friend had gone to the NYSC camp as a single woman but came back with love. He was fine, calm and caring. The relationship was so good that she contemplated marrying him even though he was a muslim (a different religion from hers) - she didn't seem to want to see anything wrong with it - talk about love is blind! It’s a few months down the line, my friend will be 28 soon, one or two other guys are coming but she wants to be committed to this relationship as she hopes for the best. She doesn't know exactly what the future holds and she's only waiting to accept what life throws at her instead of taking from life what she desires from life.
After listening to her for some time I felt a need to discuss with her for the first time about her relationship and as I woke up this morning it occurred to me that there are so many other ladies out there who are not proactive about their relationship and marital future, ladies who allow any man to come and go, ladies who wait on luck to get married because of the men they've chosen to be with, ladies who can't vouch 100% that am the only one in the life of my man. It saddens me and I thought to tell you today that you should not move on in 2014 without making deliberate decision about an aspect of life that has the capacity to make or mar your future - your marriage!
You must show that you are a smart woman. You must know what you want in life and not the woman that anything goes with. Anybody can be a man but not any man can be a King - not every man who is caring enough to pay attention to you for some time should have you, it should be the man whom the cap fits. The man whom the cap fits must first be defined by you. When you have a full idea of this man, when he shows up you will recognize him and when someone who is not it shows up, you will say NO even if he's caring, good, fine and all that. The definition of your man should determine who takes top place in your life. Gone are the days when Kings only has veto power to choose their queen, Kings love women who can decide their own Kings - decide who your man will be! Pick a book today; FORGET about all the men you have once met before and now. Write out 10 to 15 nonnegotiable traits of your husband; what your man must be (Note: I said 'be' not 'have' - there's a difference). 'Be' refers to his nature, character, his person, his way of life, his vision and passion, his habits, his purpose, his faith (religion) while 'Have' refers to his possessions, his looks, his demeanor, his car etc. When you look at that list, you are looking at your husband. Don't fall for what he has, fall for who he is.
We must all know what we want! It is paramount! No one should make a life altering decision such as who to marry without knowing clearly what he/she wants.
NOTE: January 5th is my birthday and I will be sharing lessons I have learnt in life starting from today, January 1st to January 5th, 2014. READ Yesterday's piece HERE
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[…] NOTE: January 5th is my birthday and I will be sharing lessons I have learnt in life starting from January 1st to January 5th, 2014. READ Yesterday’s piece HERE […]
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